Appreciating the Fanbase
by Uoi
Summary: "What's a fangirl?" "A fan that's a girl, America-san." In which the countries react to aspects of their fandom in an attempt to get to know their fanbase better, but things don't always go smoothly. Hilarity ensues.
1. Fanfictions I

"What's a fangirl?"

"I don't know. Ask Japan."

"Hey, Japan, what's a fangirl?"

"A fan that's a girl, America-san."

"Oh! I get it now!"

"Finally."

The newest topic that the nations were discussing: Fangirls. Ever since an anime (which was NOT a cartoon, no matter what America said) had been made about them, they had gained something called a fanbase, (NOT a military base, no matter how much Russia insisted on bombing them) apparently a bunch of people who enjoyed watching the anime and made all kinds of weird things called Fanfiction and something called "fan-art," which Germany now said that they had to review to "appreciate" their fans more.

However, Japan said that the majority of their fans were "fangirls" and that he wouldn't be responsible for any mental harm done to the countries.

And now, they were reviewing this thing called "fanfiction," which were basically stories about them written by their fans.

Once again, Japan was not responsible for any mental harm.

"Hey, Japan, what does "ship" mean?"

"It means that they think that two people would be a good match for each other."

"Oh, so if they ship ketchup and hamburgers, they think that they would be good for each other?"

"Something like that."

* * *

"MY EYES! MY EYYYESS!"

"KOLKOLKOLKOLKOL"

Even France looked traumatized at he stared at the computer screen, gawking with the rest of his fellow countries.

"They ship me with the frog… They ship me with the frog…"

England was huddled in the corner, whimpering softly.

In the meantime, Germany was standing with one hand covering Italy's eyes, who seemed to be utterly confused.

"Ve~ Germany, what's wrong?"

"Nothing…"

Germany's face was a pasty white, and the normally composed German looked as if he was restraining the urge to throw up the lunch he had just had.

"So if it's nothing, I can see it, right?"

"NO!"

"Okay, okay."

China, however, was not amused. It was hard to be amused when you had Russia smiling behind your back, clutching his lead pipe very, very firmly.

"You saw this one about us, da?

"Sadly, aru."

"You know, these fangirls are getting on my nerves… Maybe I should do something about them…"

"..."

However, Japan and Hungary were just standing, apparently unaffected.

"Hey, Japan, we can add this to our yaoi hunt, right?"

"Ms. Hungary-san, don't mention it in front of other people…"

Meanwhile, America was staring at the screen, apparently shocked.

"Was.. Was this actually written by one of my citizens?"

The whole room went silent, no one actually wanted to respond. Or everyone was just too traumatized to answer.

BANG!

A very pissed Romano strutted in, a tomato in each hand, and surveyed the room.

"Pssh, it can't be THAT bad…"

He strode over to the computer, shoved aside Spain, who looked like he was about to die, and plopped down on the chair.

-THE FOLLOWING CONTENT HAS BEEN BLEEPED BECAUSE THE AUTHOR FOUND HERSELF NOT WANTING TO WRITE ANY SORT OF…. THAT STUFF-

As Romano finished reading the first chapter, his face went green, and he raced outside immediately to find a toilet.

He was in there for about an hour.

When he returned, however, the first thing that came out of his mouth was:

"WHAT WAS THAT? WHO WOULD WRITE THAT? MY EYES HAVE BEEN RUINED-"

And so he collapsed and crawled to a corner of the room, whimpering softly for Grandpa Rome.

"So… um… Germany… can I look now?"

"NO!"

One person who found this very entertaining, however, was Prussia.

He spent the next world meeting retelling all the fanfictions that they saw, much to the disgust of the other countries.

"So like, in this story, France was making out with England, you know? And like really making out, and in this other story, West was in this one with something called and OC, and there were a lot of these OC things, and apparently West and her got married, and then there was something with like Romano and Spain that the awesome me doesn't want to talk about, and in this other one, Austria and Hungary were kinda just-"

KONG!

A very pissed off Austria glared at Prussia, who now had a massive lump forming on his head.

"Mr. Austria, please refrain from using my frying pan..."

* * *

"AGAIN? WHY DO WE HAVE TO GO THROUGH THAT AGAIN?"

"Because that isn't the only type of fanfiction out there-"

"NO! I REFUSE! MY MIND HAS BEEN SCARRED!"

"For the last time, it isn't the only type of fanfiction out there-"

Germany was tired. Of course, Japan had to conveniently forget about putting the filters on, and click on the all M-rated links that he had seen while Germany was dealing with Italy and his brother. And now nobody wanted to read fanfiction anymore. The solution? Bribes and telling everybody that Japan would be responsible for all mental harm done to their minds.

And that was how all the nations ended up in front of the computer, muttering choice curse words in their own languages while Germany made sure to turn the filters on, and clicked on a link.

Hopefully, this one would change their opinions a bit.

.o0o..o0o..o0o..o0o..o0o..o0o..o0o.

Loud sobbing noises were audible from outside the meeting room, confusing much of the staff in the hotel. Loudest of all was America, who was wailing loudly about how heartbreaking it was too see a fellow nation die, while the nation who died in the story was creating a salt water lake around himself, also wailing about his "feels."

Everyone swarmed Denmark and begged him never to go outside again, that he could live in Finland's underground city, with Sweden as a bodyguard, and that America would provide six tons of missiles to protect him from everything and anything, and that he would have to wear two bio-hazard suits everywhere he went.

Spain glanced over at Romano, who was blowing his nose and trying not to be seen.

"Roma, are you crying?"

Romano glanced over and promptly yelled, "I'm not crying!" while tears were streaming down his face. "What are you talking about, bastard?"

Spain didn't bother to correct him. He was also busy sobbing.

Russia, on the other hand, merely looked bored and asked when he could leave, because everybody was annoying him. He promptly left the meeting room, dragging China ("Let go of me, aru!") outside.

Needless to say, half the countries missed their flights back because they were still clinging to Denmark, begging him not to go outside anymore.

* * *

 **How was it? Good? Bad? Critique is appreciated!**

 **Thank you for reading!**


	2. Shipping I

**In case anyone's wondering, something went wrong the first time I uploaded the first chapter, so I had to reupload. Just wanted to get that out of the way!**

* * *

 **A/N: Hello everybody! Before you get on to the next chapter, I would like to thank everyone who followed, reviewed, and favorited. THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH FOR THE SUPPORT! I'll just respond to the reviews right here: (Just scroll down if you want to get to the story)**

 **Rinakko: Thank you for being my first reviewer! And yes, Denmark deserves all the love. All of it.**

 **DelphiniumSweets: I'm glad you thought that it was accurate, I was afraid it was going to be too OOC.**

 **Eeveelover0417: I'm glad you thought so!**

 **MageOfFandoms: I'm happy I made you laugh, and I hope you liked it.**

 **K.m: I'll go over your ideas and see if I can write anything about them. Yandere everyone? Cool.**

 **Anonymous: Family love fics are the best. The best.**

 **Rosemary1234: OH MY GOODNESS CRACK FICS I COMPLETELY FORGOT ABOUT THOSE THANKS FOR REMINDING ME!**

 **xxNothingButBrokenDreamsxx: Thanks! (Your stories were lovely, by the way) And here, the second chapter has arrived!**

 **Abc: I'm glad that you thought it was funny. DING DING DING I WAS WAITING FOR SOMEONE TO GET THE GUTTERS REFERENCE GOOD JOB**

 **Back to the story! Some childhood cartoons show up...**

* * *

"So we're done with fanfics? I was liking them! Everyone was so out of character and it was HILARIOUS."

"I liked the one where West was making out with Ita-chan!"

"Prussia..."

"Remember the one where someone named Canada was also making out with Prussia?"

"Who's Canada?"

" I'm Canada..."

"And that one that Japan called a crack fic?"

"That made absolutely no sense."

"No, really, who is Canada?"

"Who knows?"

The meeting room descended into chaos and confusion as everyone (Excluding Greece, who was sleeping soundly) yelled, whispered, or rolled out giant posters of the fanfictions they had seen. Japan and Hungary were happily showing off their poster of (Insert -that stuff- here), causing many nations to gag.

Germany, who was hoping for at least a civilized meeting, blew a fuse and started yelling at the top of his lungs.

"SHUT UP AND PUT THE POSTER OF (Insert -that stuff- here) AWAY! WE HAVE THINGS TO DO, SO DISCUSS YOUR FANFICTION SOMEWHERE ELSE!"

The meeting room fell silent as everyone cowered in fear until-

"But West, we're appreciating our fandom!"

And so, the meeting room descended back into utter chaos.

"Yeah!"

"You told us to appreciate our fandom, potato bastard!"

"PASTA!"

"Aiyaa..."

"Really, who is Canada?"

"Who? Never heard of him."

" ~KESESESE~ I HAVE CLAIMED YOUR VITAL REGIONS, PRISS!"

Try as he might, Germany couldn't bring the room back to order, and decided that when he got back home he would down at least six bottles of beer to forget that this meeting ever happened.

Suddenly, Russia's aura started filling the room, causing everyone to freeze and turn to look at him.

"Shut up already, da?"

Which effectively caused everyone to roll up the posters, scramble into their seats, and try to make themselves as small as they could to aviod Russia's wrath.

Germany shuffled his notes, and glanced at Russia, who was still emiting an intimidating aura, terrifying Latavia, who was sitting next to him.

"Okay, yes, we are done with fanfiction. Sixteen meetings is enough-"

"Aww, but-"

"GO ONLINE! THAT'S WHERE WE FOUND THEM!" Germany roared.

"Okay, okay..."

"Anyway, we need to look at ships. More than half of the fandom is about them-"

"So like, we're looking at how well hamburgers and ketchup go together? Cool, bro. Best idea you've had all century."

"I agree with America-san."

"Get your own opinion already!"

"NO, WE ARE NOT LOOKING AT HOW WELL KETCHUP AND HAMBURGERS GO TOGETHER. WE ARE ANALYZING THE "SHIPS" THAT THE FANDOM HAS ABOUT US."

Nobody noticed the massive grins that had just erupted on Japan and Hungary's faces.

"So there are about six hundred ships, and since we don't have enough time to go over them, I figured that we would just go over the most popular ones. Okay, so, this one is called USUK? Also known as Libertea?"

"Are we going to look at pictures?"

"Pictures and some fanfiction that we haven't gone over yet."

The grins on Japan's and Hungary's faces grew even wider.

"So in this case, if you haven't realized this yet, it's England and America."

"WHAT? THEY SHIP ME WITH THE BLOODY WANKER?"

* * *

"Okay, who's idea was it to get England drunk so that he could confess his feelings?"

"Not mine."

"Nope."

"Why-why are you looking at me?"

"It was America."

Everyone stared at America, who was eating a hamburger (as usual). He shurgged.

"Best way to get someone to confess, right?"

"..."

* * *

"OKAY, WHO LET HUNGARY HANDLE THE PICTURES?"

Once again, half of the countries were slumped over chairs, green in the face. England and America, however, were standing in total shock, staring at the computer screen.

"WHAT?"

"What the bloody hell?"

And so, they decided to stop the analysis of USUK.

Once everyone had recovered, more or less, they all voted to stop analyzing shipping.

Mainly because of Russia.

And Switzerland, who said that if they even glanced at anything featuring Lichtenstein he would forego his neutrality and declare war on everyone.

"I feel very uncomfortable seeing myself being forced into a relationship with anyone, Germany-san."

"Affirmative."

"I would have to agree."

"Sheesh, some of us hate each other..."

"No kidding."

"And some of the ships are just awkward..."

"Where do young people get their ideas these days, aru?"

"I don't know, but I really think we should bomb them..."

"No!"

"Can we go back to looking at fanfiction now?"

"Yeah, especially looking at ones featuring the awesome me."

"Half of those are about you dying!"

That got Prussia all depressed, and required ten beers, sixteen hugs, five speeches declaring his awesomeness (three of them made by a pissed off Austria, at the exclusive request of Prussia himself), one cake, twenty bowls of ice cream, and Germany promising to call Prussia "big bro" for the rest of the year to cheer him up.

"CALL THE AWESOME ME BIG BRO, WEST!"

"Big bro..." Germany mumbled.

"LOUDER, WEST!"

"Big bro."

"I CAN'T HEAR YOU!"

"BIG BRO!"

 **(A/N: I had half a mind to have Prussia make Germany sing the whole Spongebob Squarepants song up here, only with "Big bro" instead of Spongebob Squarepants)**

Of course, Prussia had caught it all on video and showed it to all the nations afterward, much to Germany's embarrassment, who asked him to delete it. However, Prussia had uploaded the video on Youtube, where it would stay forever until Germany figured out a way to get into Prussia's account and wipe all traces of the video from the internet.

* * *

 **A/N: Writing a chapter on shipping is tricky, and I really hope that I didn't offend anyone or their ships in this chapter. Tell me if I did, okay? Anyway, it's pretty awkward for the countries, seeing themselves paired up with someone. Let's all be honest, nobody wants to be paired up without prior consent. That little part about getting England drunk was probably written in a temporary bout of insanity... I honestly have no idea why it's there. Thanks for reading! Critique is appreciated!**


	3. MMD's I

**A/N: And here we are, chapter three! Responses are below, and once again, thank you all for the support! Anyone else go to the Special Olympics opening ceremony? I swear, when they called out the names of the countries pictures of Hetalia literally flashed through my mind... And when they introduced USA the whole stadium stood up and chanted USA! USA! USA! until all the athletes sat down, which took forever. Enough about that, let's get to the responses!**

 **xxxNothingButBrokenDreamsxxx: One does not even think that his awesomeness can be contained! And thanks!**

 **TifuFirelass: WERE YOU READING MY MIND? WERE YOU? BECAUSE THIS HERE IS THAT CHAPTER THAT YOU WANTED... ARE YOU SURE YOU HAVEN'T READ MY MIND?**

 **tokyoghoul234: Thanks! I'm glad you thought so!**

 **Eeveelover0417: Awww, thanks! LET ME HUG YOU**

 **Animelover12: You wanted me to update, so here it is! And awwww, LET ME HUG YOU TOO**

 **LET ME HUG ALL YOU LOVELY PEOPLE**

 **This chapter is dedicated to xxNothingButBrokenDreamsxx, who presented the idea for this chapter and had me laughing so hard I fell out of my chair. I definitely owe you one!**

 **The creators of these awesome MMD's are:**

 **1\. Iceland learns about girls: Weeaboo Senpai**

 **2\. When Prussia sings during a song: Alex_San:3**

 **3\. {MMDxAPH}~ China has a secret: LeanneVlogzFilmz**

 **ALL OF THEM ARE ON YOUTUBE**

* * *

 **"** MMD's? What are those?"

"Meet Massive Ducks?"

"OOO, SOUNDS FUN!"

"Major Milk Dud?"

"What in the world is that supposed to mean?"

"I don't know! Go figure it out!"

Before the whole room could erupt into squabbling chaos, Japan had raised his hand said, "MMD stands for MikuMikuDance. It's a program that allows users to create 3-D clips and movies."

"Ooohh."

The whole meeting room was silent for a moment, and because America just had to be America, he blurted out, "Dude, MikuMikuDance? What?"

Which made Japan enter his "Somebody Doesn't Know About _ and I Must Tell Them Every Single Thing About It" mode. Which he did, only it took three hours, complete with a demonstration on how to make a MMD, which would probably spawn a ton of weird ones in the future. Half of them, of course, made by Prussia.

"So, we're going to react to the MMD's now?"

"They can't be that bad, right?"

"Knowing our fandom, yes."

"I was trying to be optimistic..."

"Then don't, bastard."

* * *

"Little bro learns about girls?"

"Oh, this one features Mr. Puffin."

"How do you know? You watched it?"

"Mr. Puffin taught me about girls."

 _A little while later..._

"LET GO OF ME AND LET ME KILL HIM! LET ME KILL HIM!"

"So you want to die? You didn't do anything to big brother, but you deserve to BURN IN THE FLAMES OF MY WRATH!"

"LET GO OF ME! MY FRYING PAN IS ITCHING TO KILL HIM! LET GO!"

It was quite the strange scene. Austria was barely restraining Hungary, who was clutching her frying pan and trying to lunge at the Nordics while Prussia laughed a few feet away. Belarus was standing over Denmark, a signature knife in her hands as she leered at him, and the normally cheerful Taiwan was shooting a death glare at the five unfortunate Nordics. Needless to say, none of the female nations were very happy with any of the Nordic five.

"Why did they make that? Didn't they consider our welfare? Su-san, we're going to die!"

Sweden glanced at his "wife" and said nothing, as usual, but pulled Finland a bit closer.

And that's when everything went down the drain.

Austria had lost his hold on Hungary, who lunged forward and started beating Norway with her frying pan.

"WOULD YOU LIKE TO TAKE BACK WHAT YOU SAID? I. RECCOMEND. YOU. TAKE. IT. BACK," yelled Hungary, who was beating Norway with her deadly skillet.

Belarus, in the meantime, was literally torturing Denmark.

"You wanted to die? I will let you die... But first I must make you go through the WORST TORTURE THAT YOU HAVE EVER GONE THROUGH!" Belarus yelled, her knife now at Denmark's throat.

"That wasn't me!" Denmark yelped. "Thatwasn'tmeitwasfanmadeIwouldneversaythatyouladiesareabsolutelylovelyandgorgeousIwouldneversaythat-"

"SHUT UP! YOUR DEATH IS AT HAND!"

Finland and Sweden were huddled together in the corner, with Vietnam looming over them, her paddle in hand. In the meantime, Iceland was also being tortured, since Hungary had now turned her attention to him instead of Norway, who was knocked out a few feet away, bruises everywhere.

"We didn't say any of that!" Finland yelped. "It was fanmade. FANAMDE! Stop, please!"

Sweden nodded, nonchalant showing on his face.

"The voice acting was terrible," he said simply. "Not us."

None of that, however, deterred any of the female nations, resulting in a ton of bruises, (courtesy of Hungary) psychological trauma, (courtesy of Belarus) and most of the other nations having to hold back the female nations while the Nordics were hidden in a room somewhere in the hotel until they calmed down.

"Hello? 911? Yeah, we got a pretty bad case here..."

* * *

"Please tell me this MMD won't cause any near death experiences, because we do NOT need more nations going to the emergency room."

"Hopefully."

"HOPEFULLY?"

While the Nordic five were battered, bruised, and all in all just plain exhausted, the doctors had done a pretty good job of patching them up, though the bruises would stay as a testament to how cruel Hungary was when she was pissed.

"So, West, what's this one about?"

"You singing."

"SWEET! CLICK THAT PLAY BUTTON, WEST! MY AWESOMENESS NEEDS TO BE SHOWN TO THE WORLD!"

 _A few seconds later..._

A sobbing Prussia clung onto his younger brother's shirt, much to Germany's embarrassment.

"Do I really sound like that? West, do I really sound like that?"

"Prussia..."

"WEESSTT, THESE FANGIRLS ARE SO MEAN!"

"Prussia-"

"They don't have faith in my awesomeness! I can sing, West! I can sing!"

"Prussia..."

But Prussia had straightened up, planted his hands on his hips, and declared that he would be having a concert in the hotel. When Austria heard, he left, saying something about "restroom" and "Prussia's so called music ruining the reputation of classical music and severely damaging his ears."

And that was how Prussia had a rock concert in the middle of the fanciest hotel in America. What Germany would never understand, however, was how Prussia had managed to extract a vintage leather jacket from Austria's bag. When he confronted Austria about it, the country had turned red, and sputtered indignantly about how Germany might need an eye check and how he hated leather jackets and anything to do with rock.

Germany, however, was not convinced and was still sure that Austria was hiding something from the other countries.

* * *

"And what's this one called?"

"China has a secret?"

"Ve~ It's probably how he shoots energy out of his hand after he does those exercises!"

"How many times do I have to tell you that I can't do that, aru? Okay, maybe I can, but it's too much work!"

"What? Don't! Germany, save me!"

Italy scurried behind Germany in an attempt hide from China. Germany then proceeded to pick up Italy and plop him into his chair.

"He isn't going to do it, Italy."

"Really? Germany's so tall and handsome! Germany, Germany, Germany..."

"Let's just get this over with, aru..."

 _1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8...9...10...12...13...14..._

"AAIIYYYAAAA!"

The country was staring at the screen in horror, wondering what he had done to deserve this punishment.

"Dude, now that I think about it, you do kinda look like a girl..."

"AMERICA! STOP! YOU KNOW WHAT CHINA DOES WHEN HE'S PISSED-"

But of course, America just had to be America and ignored the shouts from Lithuania.

"Like, your hair's really long, and like-"

"AMERICA-SAN!"

"SHUT UP, YOU BLOODY WANKER!"

"Now that I think about it, are you a girl?"

"Oh no..."

And China blew a fuse.

"I AM NOT A GIRL! SHUT UP, ARU!"

To put things simply, the meeting room was destroyed.

To put things less simply, China had destroyed the tables, reduced the chairs to splinters, somehow managed to get the chandelier to crash, ripped up the curtains, tore the paintings to shreds, and headbutted the walls so hard that you could actually see the wood framework inside.

All the countries were watching with fascinated horror, and had backed away.

But before China could attack America, England and someone else (who?) held China back, yelling at him (or whispering, in that other person's case) to calm down.

Russia, however, asked England if he could let go, since he needed China to become one with him.

China then subjected to England, begging him not to let go, but Russia was so terrifying that England released China, who was still fuming at America.

The repair costs for the meeting room were astronomical.

* * *

 **A/N: This chapter was really fun to write, mostly because the MMDs themselves were absolutely hilarious. I have to admit, I thought China was a girl at first, and then... Yeah. Anyways, I had this nagging headcanon that Austria secretly enjoys rock music, and my brain refused to do anything until I actually wrote it down. I actually had to re-write this THREE TIMES, because I lost my wifi and couldn't save the first time, and the second time Fanfiction timed out on me and logged me out without saving, so this version is a bit different from what was originally there.**

 **Thanks for reading! Critique is appreciated!**


	4. 2p's! I

**A/N: Can I just say how awesome this fanbase is? Anyway, CHAPTER 4! This is going on longer than I expected, with all the reviewers giving different things they want the countries to react to, and yes, I will do my best to do all of them. If you want to request one, just review or PM me and I'll take it into consideration.**

 **topaz3: Thanks! ARE YOU ALSO READING MY MIND? THIS ONE WAS DEEMED TO BE ABOUT 2PS I SWEAR YOU PEOPLE ARE READING MY MIND**

 **MapleOwl: Aww, thanks! AND HETAONI... EXPECT IT SOON**

 **WinterSpark: I revised the last chapter and put them in. (I know, I feel so ashamed, China's a boy...)**

 **xxxNothingButBrokenDreamsxxx: GOOD I GOT YOU TO LAUGH! And honestly, I felt so sorry for the Nordics when I was writing it... LET ME HUG YOU**

 **Tifu Firelass: Thank you! This fandom is consisted of mind readers, I swear... YES THE MMD'S ARE AMAZING GO WATCH THEM ON YOUTUBE... This fandom is crazy. Very crazy. BUT WHO DOESN'T LOVE CRAZY? Once again, Hetaoni is coming soon, Dreamtalia and Dagantalia I haven't heard about, but I will look them up online. AND VINES.**

 **LET ME HUG EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU LOVELY PEOPLE**

 **This chapter is dedicated to my lovely senpai, hi-no-ka on tumblr, who suggested this chapter!**

* * *

"WHAT THE BLOODY HELL IS THIS?"

"This isn't happening... this isn't happening..."

"FOR THE LOVE OF OLD MAN FRITZ IS THIS SUPPOSED TO BE THE AWESOME ME?"

"AAAAAHHH!"

"GERMANY GERMANY HELP ME!"

If one of the hotel staff were to look into the meeting room, they would find half of the occupants hugging the walls, and the other half walking around, trying to talk to the wall huggers, who each had their own version of a traumatized look on their face.

"Germany... these are what the fandom call 2ps?"

"Mein Gott... yes."

"WHY DID YOU EVEN LET THEM IN?"

"I DIDN'T! WE WERE SUPPOSED TO BE REVIEWING THEM AND THEY DECIDED TO SHOW UP TO GIVE US A FIRST HAND GLANCE! Oh, this is terrifying..."

"Perhaps they are normal, da?"

"I guess we should try to talk to them... we were supposed to be reacting to them, after all."

And let the bloody carnage... begin!

* * *

"And who are you?"

The 2p with the baseball bat sniffed and said, "I'm you, idiot. What, are you so stupid that you can't even figure out who I am?"

And so, America decided that his 2p was probably the most insufferable person he met, because if you could manage to beat England in annoyingness, you were so annoying that he America wouldn't hesitate to run you over with a tank. Repeatedly.

"Nah, bro, you just don't look like me. I mean, you got the jacket and all, but everything else, nope."

His 2p twirled his bat (How in the world did he get THAT past security?) and said, "You picking a fight?"

"Nope! Just stating the truth!"

It would be a bad idea to get his 2p angered, and America decided to offer a peace offering. He held out a hamburger and asked, "Wanna burger?"

To which his 2p recoiled, gagged, and gave him an extremely dirty look. The peace offering wasn't going very well. In fact, America concluded, it was just making him angrier.

"NO!"

America waved the burger under his 2p's nose, saying, "Are you sure? Cause it's pretty good and you should be really hungry."

His 2p stormed to his bag and pulled out a... salad, to which America recoiled and stared at with disgust.

"This is my lunch!"

"WHAT ARE YOU EATING? DUDE. DUDE. YOU REFUSE A HAMBURGER AND GO FOR A SALAD?"

His 2p slammed his fist on the table and shot America another dirty look.

"I'M VEGETARIAN, IDIOT!"

To which America gagged, stared at his 2p in horror, and promptly fainted.

When he came to, he avoided his 2p at all costs, muttering something about "How any version of him couldn't even be vegetarian" and "If you could refuse a hamburger you would have to be crazy."

* * *

"Hello, old chap! I'm assuming you're the other version of me?"

"BLOODY HELL!"

"Now, now, you shouldn't curse, it's quite rude. I'll let you off this time, but later you'll have to put a pound in the swear jar, okay?"

"GET AWAY FROM ME!"

"Are you okay, sir? You seem to be quite pale, would you like a cupcake?

England was backed up into a wall, a traumatized look clearly shown on his face. His mind couldn't seem to process what was going on; Was this pink haired, smiling, blue eyed _thing_ supposed to be him?

"Sir? Are you alright? You see, I baked these cupcakes myself, so they shouldn't taste too bad, unless I put too much poison in the frosting, but I can assure you that I didn't!"

Poison? This person could cook? What?

"Sir? Sir, can you hear me? I'm tired of calling you sir, so I'll introduce myself properly this time! Hello, my name is Oliver Kirkland, also known as Other England, but you can call me Ollie! It's nice to meet you!"

It took everything England had to stretch out his hand to accept the handshake (He was a gentleman, after all) and mutter, "Arthur Kirkland."

His 2p beamed at him, and said, "That wasn't too hard, was it? Now, would you like a cupcake?"

But England automatically said refused, as any cupcake with bright pink poisonous frosting baked by his 2p would most certainly kill him.

"So... umm..." England choked out, "You can cook?"

His counterpart beamed at him, and England had the feeling that this person, Ollie, was insane.

"Of course! I especially adore baking, but cupcakes are my favorite! Mixing in the poison in the frosting's very fun!"

And so, England spent the rest of the meeting also avoiding his 2p, making sure to warn everyone to stay away from the cupcakes.

But honestly, you couldn't tell America to stay clear of cupcakes.

"DUDE! ARE YOU SURE THAT YOU'RE ENGLAND? THESE CUPCAKES ARE AWESOME!"

"Hehe, yes, the poison makes it taste absolutely lovely!"

Cue America doing a spit take and spewing cupcake on Ollie's face.

"WHAT?"

* * *

"Umm...

"And who would you be?"

If one would happen to glance at the two, they would have seen twins, both with long blond hair and stubble. If one were to see how they acted, however, they would have wondered how in the world they ever thought the two were even a bit alike, and slapped themselves in the face.

"Sir, I do not believe you should be smoking in here-"

"Screw you, then. I'm smoking."

"Sir-"

"You're me, aren't you? You should know that I really hate people telling me I shouldn't smoke. So screw off."

"WHY ARE THERE _TWO_ FROGS?"

The counterparts whirled around to find a particular bushy eyebrowed and green eyed country pointing at the two in shock. 2p France scoffed.

"Counterpart, idiot."

And so, England decided to back away slowly and try to convince himself that this was a dream, because while one frog was annoying enough, two would certainly drive him off the deep end.

* * *

"So you are my counterpart?"

"I guess."

"Would you like to be friends?"

"Sure. Just go away."

Because as if one Russia wasn't terrifying enough, the fandom had decided that they needed another one, much to Russia's delight.

He lightly pat his 2p's shoulder, smiling.

"I will not go away. We are friends, da?"

"Just go away."

"I do not think I will go away. I am your friend, and we need to stick together."

2p Russia snorted and crossed his arms.

"Yeah, and I'm a fairy princess."

And so, Russia quickly became bored with his 2p, and started wandering around, looking for China.

* * *

"Are you real? Or is this just a side effect of the drugs?"

"WOULD SOMEBODY LIKE TO TRADE COUNTERPARTS, ARU?"

China was horrified. Actually, horrified would be saying it lightly. Because not only did his 2p have SHORT hair, he was also... an opium addict! JOY! His 2p tilted his head, confused.

"You should be real, I haven't seen you around before..." as he poked China.

"AIYYAA! GET YOUR HANDS OFF OF ME, ARU!"

"Am I this loud? I think I'm quieter. Russia always says I'm too quiet."

China's eyes twitched as he started planning his escape. First, he would administer a judo move-

"Is this your counterpart?"

He whirled around in horror as 2p Russia materialized next to his own counterpart.

"I guess," his 2p said. "He's much louder than I am, though."

After he attacked his 2p, he would barrel out the window-

"Is someone bugging you?"

And now normal Russia was here. China sighed, forfeited the plan, and just bolted out of the meeting room, while the other three stared.

"Did I say anything that offended him?"

"I don't think so."

"I will go follow him, da?"

"You do that."

* * *

 **A/N: Oh, this was a hard one to write, especially towards the end, because Russia and China have some of the least developed 2p's, and most of the 2p's are quiet and manipulative, which is REALLY hard to show. Don't worry, this isn't going to be the only 2p chapter, expect the Axis and four others in the next chapter. (Sneak peaks to those who guess who.** **)**

 **Thanks for reading! Critique is appreciated!**


	5. 2ps! II

**A/N: I... AM... ALIVE! Okay, that had NOTHING to do with the story, I just wanted to say it. Or type it. Monster of a chapter down below.**

 **Second chapter on the 2p's! There will be one more featuring a few other nations. I'm sorry, but I don't think I can do ALL the 2p's, as most of them aren't very developed, but as time goes on and 2p's become more developed, I might continue. I've been seeing rumors about the 2p's showing up in season six, but I really don't know what to think, as rumors fly around a lot, and I've decided to wait and see for myself. Responses are below!**

* * *

 **topaz3: As I said above, I don't know whether or not to believe it, BUT I AM HOPING THAT IT BECOMES CANON I REALLY WANT TO SEE THE 2P'S**

 **Abc: Dangantalia, huh? So I asked the maker of the game and am currently waiting for a response, because I don't want to write it without their permission, so it might be a while... If they don't reply, I don't think I will do it.**

 **YourNumberOneStalker: Lovely username. Just want to get that out of the way. Thank you so much! I will keep writing for as long as my muse keeps whispering ideas, and she's on quite a spree at the moment.**

 **tokyoghoul234: HETAONI COMING SOON STAY TUNED... And Nyotalia... It'll be hard thinking up ideas, but I will try.**

 **xxxNothingButBrokenDreamsxxx: Those parts were probably the funniest because they were the most developed and therefore I had more to work with... BUT YES AMERICA IS STARING AT A WALL AT THE MOMENT WONDERING WHERE HE WENT WRONG**

 **DelphinumSweets: Double the trouble is double the fun. You can have 2p England, I'm sure England will be happy to be rid of him.**

 **IcedFireFrenzy: Thank you! Of course this isn't as awesome as Prussia, I don't know why anyone would ever think that, his awesomeness reigns supreme. Hetalia vines are definitely an option, though I haven't heard of the dating games yet. Once again, Nyotalia will be hard, but I will try, and Nekotalia... I don't know, because they are canon, and I'm pretty sure that the countries won't be very surprised. But I will take the rest of your ideas into consideration!**

* * *

 **This chapter is dedicated to my good friend Jazzy, whom I accidentally on purpose forced into the Hetalia fandom, and now she's even more into it than I am.**

* * *

Germany was well known for his ability to keep calm in a variety of situations, including when he needed to act "American," smile like an American, and say he liked hamburgers. This was not one of those situations. Somehow he had managed to keep a placid look on his face while his 2p frowned at him.

Germany raised an eyebrow at his 2p, which caused his him to sniff.

"You act just like East. Way too uptight. Seriously," his 2p rolled his eyes, "Lighten up."

Germany's eyebrows shot further up his head.

"East?"

"Oh, right. I guess you people would call him Prussia."

"Prussia is uptight."

"Duh. Oh, Germany, clean up after yourself. Oh, Germany, go easy on the beer. Oh, Germany, act more polite. Oh, Germany, stop spilling your wurst all over the place. Most annoying thing on the planet."

"Are you sure Prussia is uptight? Because-"

"What, are you stupid? I can't believe my counterpart is this stupid, because duh, East is uptight. Having his hair in a ponytail and everything."

2p Germany mimed pulling his hair back in a ponytail, and in a nasally high-pitched voice said, "Look, I'm East with my fancy hair in a ponytail while I drink my beer. Honestly, you two are WAY too silmiar."

Germany, who had seriously been hoping that his counterpart was joking, decided that once he got home, he would down six bottles of beer to forget this traumatic experience. His 2p waved his hand.

"Enough about East. Honestly, YOU'RE my counterpart? Tch. Pathetic."

To which Germany's eyebrows shot so far up his forehead that they almost disappeared, and turned red.

"Honestly," his 2p continued, "You don't even look like you could handle even ONE bottle of beer."

It was one thing to call Germany uptight. It was another thing to insult his alcoholic tolerance. So Germany, furious at his counterpart, challenged him to a drinking contest.

A very confused hotel staff member delivered a crate of fifty bottles of beer to the... national ambassadors? They certainly didn't seem like ambassadors, especially if they had ordered FIFTY bottles of beer.

"Thanks, lady! We're going to have a drinking contest, you wanna join?" said 2p Germany.

The now extremely baffled woman stared at the ambassador in extreme confusion. What sort of a political figure was this person? Another man, his twin, it seemed, only this one had blue eyes, stepped up, thanked her, apologized for the other man's rudeness, and closed the door.

The staff member stared at the door for a full ten minutes before she went back to her desk.

And that was how 2p Germany got Germany to run around the meeting room with his hair down, singing the German national anthem with a keg of beer. 2p Germany joined him, and they both did an impromptu clog dance together, much to the amusement of the other nations.

It seemed that no matter how different they seemed, they both got drunk at around twenty-five bottles, and had a thing for clog dances.

Prussia, naturally, captured the whole thing on video, (again) uploaded it on Youtube, (again) and refused to take it down, no matter how much Germany begged him to remove it.

* * *

Japan had seen weird.

He was literally the embodiment of weird, with all his anime. He had waved his arms in the air and yelled for pasta. He had seen people eat bright blue food without a second thought. He had seen China refuse Hello Kitty. But none of that even came CLOSE to the weirdness that was his 2p.

He looked relatively like Japan, but only with blood red eyes, and an imperial uniform accompanied with a katana. (How did he get THAT past security? How did these nations even get past any security at all with those weapons? He was pretty sure that he saw Germany's counterpart carrying a loaded gun, and was confident that China's was hiding at least two dozen knives up his sleeves.)

He even acted a bit like himself, he was polite, and quiet. But it was an unsettling silence, as if he was deciding how to kill you in a hundred different ways.

"I assume you are my counterpart?" Japan asked.

His 2p turned around and nodded.

Cue awkward silence.

"Um... It's very nice to meet you."

"Same."

Cue even more awkward silence.

Apparently, Japan's counterpart had gotten bored. He stood up, walked over to the blackboard, picked up a piece of chalk, and started sketching.

Japan was quite impressed at his 2p's skill. The anatomy was perfect and- WHAT IN THE NAME OF GOKU WAS HE DRAWING NO NO GET IT AWAY-

Hentai. His counterpart was drawing hentai. On the blackboard. HENTAI?

Japan raced to the blackboard, grabbed and eraser, and started erasing as fast as he could. His counterpart frowned at him and started redrawing the -picture- on the board, while Japan tried to erase all parts of it. While he enjoyed drawing manga, his 2p's hentai was way too overboard.

OH IN THE NAME OF ALL THINGS DRAGON BALL Z JUST GET IT AWAY GET IT AWAY

If one were to glance at the board, they would see two full grown squabbling over a piece of chalk and eraser like two kindergartners. Only they were MUCH taller, and one was holding a katana to the other's neck. 2p Japan's eye's narrowed as he glanced at his counterpart, now his sworn enemy.

"If one erases my hentai, they have declared war."

War for erasing hentai. A noble cause. Japan drew his own katana and faced his opponent, eyes narrowing. The two flew at each other, blades flashing.

The two got booted out of the hotel for nearly decapitating the manager, who had poked his head in, wondering where all the beer had went, and gotten his toupee knocked off in front of all his staff.

"I won't fire you if you don't mention this to ANYBODY."

After a week, all of the staff were whispering about how the Japanese ambassador managed to knock the manager's wig off with a sword.

* * *

Why, oh why, did Germany get drunk NOW? Now he couldn't go hiding behind him for fear of being pegged by clogs and kegs of beer, and there was nowhere to hide from his 2p, who was about as scary as England and Germany combined.

"And what are YOU doing here?"

Italy's head snapped up to see his counterpart glaring at him. He did what was only logical in the situation- run like Germany and England were chasing after you with their tanks. Frankly, he didn't get a chance to run, for his 2p had picked him up by the back of his uniform, and was now inspecting his counterpart, who was waving his legs helplessly in the air.

Italy's 2p had a good three inches on him, always had his eyes open, and was now scarier than Russia.

"Psh, I can't believe that YOU'RE my counterpart. Are you always this weak?"

Italy had started trembling and started yelling, "DON'T HURT ME I WILL GIVE YOU PASTA AND I WON'T FIGHT YOU JUST DON'T HURT ME!"

Cue 2p Italy's amazed and pissed off face, with one eyebrow raised.

"Excuse me? Are you saying that you won't put up a fight?"

"YES YES YES JUST LET GO OF ME GERMANY GERMANY HELP ME-"

"Pathetic."

2p Italy dropped normal Italy, who was now slumped on the floor in a heap. Then Italy grinned.

"Ve~ You're kinda like Roma!"

2p Italy then whirled around.

"What did you say?"

"You're kinda like Roma!"

"Don't even TALK about that pathetic bastard-"

"See? You are like Roma!"

"WE ARE NOTHING ALIKE!"

"No, you both like tomatoes, you cuss a lot-"

"I DO NOT LIKE DESIGNER FASHION!"

Italy tilted his head to the left, very confused.

"Roma doesn't like designer fashion..."

"Oh, you're talking about your Romano."

"Ve~"

"DON'T COMPARE ME TO HIM EITHER! I AM ITALY! I AM NOTHING LIKE ROMANO!"

"But you seem like you like designer clothes..."

2p Italy froze.

"And how would you know that?" he said in an icy tone.

Italy's smile grew even wider.

"You have a designer belt, you're wearing a really fancy tuxedo, those glasses that you have in your hands are vintage, and you're probably one of the only nations here that aren't wearing a military uniform-"

2p Italy then grabbed Italy by the front of his shirt, seething.

"I DO NOT LIKE FASHION! SHUT UP!"

"Ve~ It's okay, I know you do, don't worry-"

"SHUT UP!"

And so, 2p Italy stormed out of the meeting room, still muttering that he didn't like fashion. He didn't account for the fact that Italy now thought of him as an older brother and would now be following him wherever he went.

"GET AWAY FROM ME, BASTARD!"

"Ve~ See, you are like Roma!"

"SHUT UP!"

* * *

Words could not express how Austria was feeling at the moment. Perhaps a piano could, but it would be very difficult to hear it over the electric guitar that his- not his, he would never associate THAT with himself- counterpart was playing.

Austria sniffed. Of all people, his 2p just HAD to enjoy rock and jazz. If anything, they were the complete opposite of each other, with one loving the piano and the other enjoying rock.

"So, you start enjoy my awesome music yet, or what?"

Austria's back straightened as his counterpart slung an arm around him.

"No, I do not. Nor can I ever- AUGH!"

2p Austria had slapped a hand on his back, chuckling.

"Lighten up, dude. Honestly, I can understand why people think you're a priss. You should lighten up and enjoy some rock, maybe go to a concert or something, I dunno."

Austria tensed and knocked his counterpart's hand off his shouder, annoyed.

"I will not go and enjoy a rock concert. The works of Mozart and Beethoven are enough for me to relax-"

"Well, for me, that's stupid. Really stupid."

"I do not care for what you think is stupid, rock and jazz are stupid-"

"Oh, now you've done it-"

"And I firmly believe that classical towers above them all-"

"You know what? Fine. Go ahead. But insult rock, and you have declared war."

"Please. You have insulted my music."

The two glared at each other, intense hate shown clearly on their faces.

"You know what? I'll challenge you. If I can manage to prove that my music is better, you'll have to go to a rock concert with me, deal?"

"Very well. But if I win, you are to discard all your filthy instruments and learn piano."

"Fine."

And so, the two countries declared war on each other, both of them confident that they would win. However, no definite winner emerged, and they were playing in the hotel room for two days straight, while the manager was begging them to get out.

"NO! I AM GOING TO WIN THIS, AND YOU'LL HAVE TO DRAG ME OUT ON MY BUTT IF YOU WANT ME TO LEAVE!"

"Do drag him out, I'll win if that happens."

The manager was extremely terrified of ambassadors at this point, and decided that after this week, he would go and find a job somewhere else.

The two played until they were both exhausted and famished, and passed out over their instruments, both believing that they had won. Nothing like a musical competition to settle a war.

* * *

"Oh dear, what a barbarous soul you are! Dearest me, are you really supposed to be my counterpart?"

Hungary was seething. She was pissed. She was more than pissed. She was ready to take this prissy, annoying, girly damsel in distress and hurl her out of the window and laugh at her when she cried over her broken nail.

No, she would torture her first. Even more than she tortured the Nordics. How dare she damage the reputation of the fearsome Hungary with her annoying voice and attitude.

"Your dresses don't seem right, you look like a maid, my dear. We are nothing alike, and I greatly lament my sorrows of having such a boyish counterpart-"

 _KONG!_

A now furious Hungary glared at her 2p, who was now crumpled in a heap on the ground, a large bump forming on her forehead.

"Problem, lady? I don't want you as my counterpart, you annoying little girl. You dream of a prince? How DARE you ruin my reputation as the fearsome Hungary that conquers and destroys!"

Her counterpart staggered to her feet, clad in five inch heels. Her arm raised to her head, and she struck the typical dramatic pose.

"Oh no, not only is she boyish, she is violent! My dear, you will never be able to find a husband-"

 _KONG!_

"I DON'T WANT A HUSBAND!"

Her 2p sighed and rose to her feet, her face sad as she put one hand to her cheek and sighed. Oh why, why must she, the most ladylike country, have to suffer at the hands of this barbarous woman? A tear rolled down her cheek as she longed for her prince to come and rescue her from this monster.

"Why must you do this? My dear, you are much too boyish, you should act more like a lady, a dignified aristocrat!"

Hungary clenched her pan even harder. Oh, she was going to get it, how dare she lecture her-

"Excuse me, my dear, but what is the name of the young man on the stage, playing the piano?"

Her counterpart's voice jolted her out of her hatred as she realized that she was referring to Austria.

"He's Mr. Austria," she said coldly.

"What a dignified man! Why, he'd be perfect as a prince, his posture is so dignified, his playing so lovely, it beckons to my heart! How I wish he would rescue me from this torment! Oh, I yearn to go up to him and ask, but a lady must never ask, the gentleman must propose..."

Hungary never heard the rest of the sentence, the moment she heard the word propose, she stared at the woman in front of her in utter shock. Austria, propose to her? Did she mean in marriage?

And so, Hungary's rage grew even further, and she clobbered the woman with her frying pan many times, and actually threw her out the window.

She felt oddly satisfied, and decided that she would keep Austria fifty feet away from this annoying woman that was her counterpart.

Austria, though he was used to Hungary's behavior, was still very confused when Hungary threw a girl out of the window, and decided never to get on her bad side.

* * *

Prussia was perplexed. For him to be anything but awesome was truly astounding, but he was now perplexed- and awesome, but still very perplexed. He was pretty sure that Gilbird was confused as well, though Gilbird was awesome, but now he was mostly awesome and a bit confused.

Because the person in front of him could NOT be the awesome himself. He was too much like West, with straight white hair tied back, and dressed in a tuxedo, a serious expression on his face that reminded him way too much of his younger brother. So, he decided to ask.

"Who are you?"

West number two turned glanced at him. Dang, now he looked even more like West, now that he was closer. This HAD to be West number two.

"My name is Prussia. I would assume that you're my counterpart?" West number two said.

Prussia froze. This was... the Awesome Himself number two? Nah, he was joking.

He laughed and did a double take. Oh, this dude was awesome! Not as awesome as himself, but still pretty awesome. He could crack a good joke.

"Dude, that is hilarious. But if you're the awesome me, then Austria's a punk rocker!

West number two tilted his head and looked at Prussia strangely.

"Austria is a punk rocker. And yes, I am Prussia."

Prussia stared at the man again. Oh, right, he was awesome! He was making another joke!

He slapped West number two on the shoulder.

"Dude, you are AWESOME! Not as awesome as I am, of course, but you can make a good joke. Austria, a punk rocker? Yeah right!"

West number two pointed at the stage.

"Do you see the man in red?"

"Of course! The Awesome Me sees everything!"

"That's Austria."

Cue Prussia spitting out the beer that he was planning on drinking.

"WHAT?"

"That's Austria."

"Nononono, the priss hates all things rock and awesome-"

"That's Austria. I can guarantee it."

Austria was a punk rocker. Wow. But he trusted what West number two said, since he was awesome. But if Austria was a punk rocker, then that could only mean-

"I am Prussia. I'm assuming that you're Prussia, as well?"

"YOU'RE THE AWESOME ME? I THOUGHT YOU WERE WEST!"

"West? Oh, you must mean Germany. No, Germany's over there," he pointed to the man who was clog dancing with Germany.

"Oh, I thought that he was the Awesome Me!"

"No, it's Germany."

Prussia was confused before. Now he was very confused. He was sure that the man in red wasn't Austria, but since this dude was awesome, and he always trusted what awesome people said, he believed him.

He spent the rest of the meeting filming Germany and showing the Awesome Me number two Germany's baby photos.

"Are you sure that's Austria?"

"Yup."

Needless to say, he was very confused when he realized that there were TWO Austria's onstage, but he shrugged it off. Austria was weird. Maybe he had a cloning machine or something.

* * *

 **A/N: Dang, this chapter was long! I hoped you liked it, there was a lot of research and speculation involved, and it took quite a while. So many words... Anyway, I'm sincerely hoping that I kept them all in character. Thanks for all the support! Updates will be postponed for a while, as I'm going on a really late vacation, but I will continue it. Once again, if you have any ideas as to what you want the countries to react to next, PM me or write them in a review!**

 **Thanks for reading! Critique is appreciated!**


	6. 2p's! III

**A/N: I'm back! Third chapter for the 2p's! Once again, if they get more development, canon or fanonwise, I'll consider writing up more chapters. This chapter is surprisingly short, I had the Nordics planned, but then it seemed too long, so I'll be putting them on the next chapter. It just didn't seem right splitting up Finland and Sweden... Sorry for making you all wait, it's just that I literally had no time to write and was only able to respond to your reviews... Thanks for them, by the way. I really appreciate them. Now, since was a guest review, I'll just put it down here:**

* * *

 **Guest: Yet another part of the fanbase that I had no idea existed... ONCE AGAIN I WILL LOOK IT UP! Still debating whether or not to do Nyotalia, but you're absolutely right, there are differences, and AAWWWW THANKS SO MUCH LET ME HUG YOU**

* * *

 **This chapter is dedicated to everyone who read, reviewed, favorited, and/or followed this story. COOKIES FOR ALL**

* * *

"WHAT SORT OF BASTARDY IS THIS?"

"Ah-ah-ah-ah! I'm not a bastard, but I'm quite _fabulous._ "

"WHAT ARE YOU? ARE YOU POLAND? YOU'RE A BASTARD, YEAH, BUT ARE YOU MORE BASTARDY THAN THE POTATO BASTARD?"

"Do you have anymore insults other than bastard? You don't sound very fabulous when you're only are able to call people bastards and nothing else."

Romano sputtered indignantly and turned as red as, well, a tomato. What was truly hilarious about the picture was that Romano actually looked like a bit like a one, just dye his hair green and he'd be the perfect tomato.

2p Romano shrugged, tossing his blond hair back in a perfect hair flip that struck awe into the hearts of all the fans reading this.

"You don't look very fabulous when you're head looks like a tomato, either. Of course, if your hair was blond, I could excuse a bit of the lack of your fabulosity-"

"WHA- YOU AREN- I'M NOT GOING TO- BLOND?"

"And if you had a BIT of fashion sense I could also excuse a tiny bit of your lack of fab as well-"

"I HAVE- WHA- TINY BIT-"

"Ah! I have an idea! I, the great Romano, will up your fabulosity! Come, come, we have MUCH to do!"

And so, a smiling 2p Romano pushed the foul-mouthed Romano we all know to a chair and sat him down, ignoring the protests of the tongue tied, tomato faced country that was half of Italy.

"And first, we must dye your hair blond!"

"WHA-GERROF-NO WHA- BASTARD-"

And that, my dear readers, is the story of how Romano became a blond. Of course, I'm forgetting the story of how he ended up with a tomato shoved up his- never mind about that, and the story of the fabled May the 9th, but we must do our best to forget that ever existed.

Of course, Romano was extremely disgruntled and hated his 2p with all of his heart, and his tomatoes.

"Your hair isn't even naturally blond-"

"NOPE! I DON'T HEAR YOU! IT IS BLOND, IT IS BLOND-"

"IT IS NOT, BASTARD!"

"IT IS BLOND!"

"STOP DENYING IT, BASTARD!"

Cue massive fight between the two, ending in 2p Romano almost poisoning our Romano.

"But honestly, your little bro is creepy," grumbled Romano.

"LITTLE BROTHER? OHHH, ISN'T HE CUTE?"

2p Romano started sparkling and pulled out an entire photo album from thin air. He opened it, and shoved all the photos that he could carry into a very disgruntled Romano's face.

"And this one is from his one-hundredth birthday, this one is from when he got his first pistol- Awww, doesn't he look cute? And this one is from when he successfully stabbed Germany- Aww, you can even see the blood spots- And this one is when he ate a WHOLE cake by himself- he got indigestion, I believe he puked on this photo- see, you can see that it's a little discolored-"

However, Romano had disappeared and was now hiding behind one of the chairs, asking for Grandpa Rome and calling everything in sight a bastard. **(A/N: I realized that Romano seems to only be capable of calling people bastards... All you Haikyuu! fans out there, remind you of someone? A particular grumpy setter?** **)**

* * *

Spain was questioning his sanity.

In fact, he was questioning everything, from the ripeness of the tomato he had just eaten to the existence of the desk that he was now faceplanting into in hopes of getting rid of the hallucination that was his 2p.

On a scale from rotten tomato to May the 9th, this experience would rank at somewhere around- say, seven, which was pretty bad. Not as bad as May the- CLEAR ALL THOUGHTS FROM BRAIN

Because honestly, what was more terrifying than knowing that your counterpart hated tomatoes?

 **-FLASHBACK TO A BETTER TIME-**

Spain stuck out his hand, trying to greet his 2p in the most positive, pleasant, and Spain-like way possible, with a giant signature Spain grin emblazoned on his face.

"Hello! I am Spain-"

"Go away! I'm sorry if I did anything, I'm so sorry! Just goo away!"

Cue Spain's confused face, staring that the cowering country that was supposed to be his counterpart.

"Oh- Um... I'm sorry? Um..."

"GO AWAY, BASTARD AND LEAVE ME ALONE!"

Spain recoiled, staring at is counterpart in confusion. Was his counterpart... CHIBI ROMANO? Spain started sparkling and stared at his counterpart with adoring eyes, and suddenly the world took on a brighter color, with tomatoes flying around at crazy speeds.

So, Spain decided to comfort his counterpart, A.K.A. Big Chibi Romano, with the only way to comfort a grumpy Romano: Offer him tomatoes and spoil him to the point where he starts adoring you and calling you Bastard Spain more than just "bastard."

He pulled a tomato out of thin air, and started waving it in front of his counterpart's face, saying, "Wanna tomato, Roma? Come on, I know you want one-"

"WHAT THE- NO, I HATE TOMATOES! GET THAT THING AWAY FROM ME! GET IT AWAY!"

Spain pulled back, staring at the country that was NOT Big Chibi Romano, no matter how much he acted like him, because anyone who hated tomatoes was definitely out of their minds, or possessed.

"Wh-What are you?"

"I'm you, bastard!"

 **-END FLASHBACK-**

A very concerned France was shaking Spain's shoulders, while 2p Spain was sniffling in the corner.

"Spain? Spain? Mon Dieu, you're going to suffocate- Spain?"

"Tomatoes..."

"What?"

"End this nightmare..."

"Spain?"

"HOW DOES SOMEONE NOT LIKE TOMATOES?"

"Spain? What's going on?"

* * *

"And WHERE is my counterpart?"

"Here..."

"Where is he?"

"Here..."

"WHO IN THE WORLD IS SAYING THAT? WHERE'S CANADA?"

"I'm Canada..."

"WHO?"

"Canada..."

"WHO IS SAYING THAT? WHERE'S CANADA?"

"I'm Canada..."

Cue America coming up to 2p Canada and giving him a friendly slap on the shoulder.

"Dude, you look badass, but who's your counterpart, bro? Who's Canada?"

"I'M CANADA! DO YOU NOT SEE THE PERSON YOU JUST SLAPPED?"

"Whoa, bro, just sayin! Cause like, if you're Canada, aren't we supposed to have a Canada too? Hey, Iggy! Do we have a Canada? Is he as badass as this one? Does he look like this one?"

"Who?"

"You know, Canada."

"Who?"

"Caa-naa-daaa."

"Do you even know?"

"Umm... No! That's why I asked you!"

"Bloody idiot..."

2p Canada, fed up with trying to find his counterpart, decided to go sit down in front of the television and watch the hockey game. He sat on Canada.

"Umm... Excuse me? You're sitting on me..."

2p Canada jumped and starting staring at the couch.

"DID THE COUCH JUST TALK?"

"No... I did..."

"WHO?"

"Canada..."

"WHERE ARE YOU THEN?"

"You're sitting on me..."

"Oh."

And so, the two engaged in conversation, while the rest of the countries looked on.

"Is he talking to the air, aru?"

"Maybe he's like Iggy! You know, imaginary friends and whatnot."

"THEY ARE NOT IMAGINARY!"

"No really, who is Canada?"

"I think we met him on May the 9th..."

"GOODNESS DON'T TALK ABOUT THAT!"

"WE WERE BANNED FROM THERE FOR OUR ENTIRE LIVES!"

"Scarred me for life..."

"WHO IN THE WORLD IS CANADA? Get the pun? Get it? World? Geett it?"

"SHUT UP, AMERICA!"

* * *

 **A/N: Oh, Canada was hard to write... I was banging my head on the table as I was writing this, because my muse just HAD TO go on vacation and decided to leave me here... I was planning to do Ukraine and Belarus in this chapter, but they'll be on the next, I guess. I APOLOGIZE FOR THE QUALITY OF THIS CHAPTER! From now on, I'll be responding to your reviews directly, to conserve space. If there are any guest reviews, I'll put them on the actual chapter, as usual. Anyone get the FMA reference? Kudos to you if you did!**

 **Thanks for reading! Critique is appreciated!**


	7. Fangirls I

**A/N: MY MUSE HAS RETURNED! GET BACK TO WORK, INSPIRATION!**

 **Hello, everyone! Thanks for the incredible amount of support through my writers block, I appreciate it a lot! I know I said I wasn't going to update in a while... But my mind is a troll, I guess. I've gotten quite a few recommendations that I will consider, thanks to everyone to gave them! This is an EXTREMELY random chapter, I think you could have deduced that from the title... But hey! Fangirls are a MAJOR part of the fanbase. And I forgot completely about responding to guest reviews... So without further ado, if you were a guest and reviewed for the last few chapters, the responses are down below.**

* * *

 **Bisexual Cookie: I'm glad I made you laugh! And thanks, I'm doing my best to write this fanfic!**

 **K.m: Yes, the 2p's are amazing, and here's what you waited for! AND WELCOME BACK!**

 **That Brit: Thanks! I appreciate it!**

 **Samantha: Yes, it would be funny. But they'd have to explain the corpses and the bloody stains on their clothes to their bosses...**

 **That ONe Unicorn: Thank you!**

* * *

This situation was WEIRD.

America had seen weird. He was the embodiment of weird, with Christmas memes popping up in August, everybody getting way too psyched for his birthday at his house (Of course, he was America, so it was mandatory to get psyched on his birthday) and painting themselves red, white, and blue, that ugly Christmas sweater contest, and of course, the mystery of the I'm-exercising-but-I'm-gaining-weight-what's-going-on-help-me-Iggy situation.

But despite all that, (and all the previous chapters in this fic) this situation topped the weirdness charts. While he was used to seeing hordes of screaming girls mob concerts, stores, and the occasional youtuber, he couldn't recall a moment where he had seen fangirls mobbing a five-star hotel chanting "HET-A-LI-A!" over and over again, some dressed in clothes that seemed to match the attire of the other countries, and some trying to claw their way up the building.

It terrified him.

Mostly because there were some people trying to imitate his own signature bomber jacket, (Excuse you, this baby was vintage and you were NOT allowed to imitate it because he was America) but also because he could hear them screaming from ten stories up. Either he had supersonic hearing (Which he totally did, by the way) or they were just really loud.

So he decided to check by opening the window, and his eardrums were completely obliterated by:

"AAMMMEEERRRIICCAAA! OPEN UP~"

"HE-TA-LI-A! HE-TA-LI-A!"

"OMGOMGOMGOMG HE'S HERE GRAB THE ROPE AND PREPARE THE GETAWAY TRUCK"

"MARRY ME!"

With the last of his strength, America shut the window and turned to face his fellow countries.

"We're doomed."

The words stumbled out of America's mouth as he panted heavily, starting to loose hope.

When America looses hope, either it means that there are no more burgers in the world, or you're actually doomed. Actually, both scenarios meant that you were doomed. Therefore, all the countries are now officially doomed.

Everyone in the meeting room shifted around nervously, and started writing their own personal wills.

"How long do you think the barricade will last?" Latvia asked nervously.

All the countries turned to stare at Latvia, sighing.

"Probably about thirty more seconds."

"It's breaking down already, da?"

"Ve~ Germany I'm scared..."

"I am getting WAY too old for this, aru..."

A huge crash resounded throughout the building, causing the countries to jump.

"I guess they broke it down already... RUN!" America shouted.

"WHERE? IT'S A ROOM WITH ONE ENTRANCE! WE'RE GOING TO DIE!" England retorted.

"JUMP OUT THE WINDOW!"

"NO!"

"I HEAR THEM COMING UP THE STAIRS!"

"Oh good, more friends!" Russia said amiably.

"NO! I STILL HAVE MORE K-DRAMA TO WATCH, ANIKI SAVE ME!" screamed Korea, who was clinging on to China.

"GET OFF OF ME, KOREA!"

"I'M TOO AWESOME TO DIE! BRING IT ON!" Prussia roared, while standing on the the table.

Picture this: America and England next to a window, bickering over whether or not it's safer to jump (America thought so) or it was safer to stay, while Austria plays dramatic music on the piano and Italy clings on to Germany, whimpering. Romano using Spain as a shield, though Spain doesn't really care, Roma-chan is too cute. Prussia standing on the table, proclaiming that his awesomeness will save everyone, though the next minute he's hiding in corner with Gilbird, saying that it would be better if awesome didn't die, while Hungary and Japan are taking out their cameras, ready to take pictures. Greece sleeping soundly with his cats, and Switzerland shouting that he would kill anyone who got within two feet of Liechtenstein. Korea groping China, yelling about how he'll never get to finish his K-drama, and China trying to wrench Korea off, while the rest of the Asian countries panic. Canada under the table, hoping that no one will find him there, while the Nordic countries bid each other goodbye, complete with a patriotic song, flags, and military salutes. Russia smiling happily, with Belarus declaring that anyone who touches big brother will suffer a terrible death. Poland being fabulous and not caring, while Lithuania and the rest of the Baltic trio cling together for security. Netherlands making sure that all his money is in the bank, while Belgium sighs and France panics and runs around, yelling that he needs more time to conquer England.

All this happening while a horde of fangirls are running up the stairs, crowding into elevators, and steadily approaching the poor countries.

For a while, all is silent as the countries accept their fate and wait for their death to arrive.

3... 2... 1... _BOOM!_

A nuclear bomb? No, a horde of fangirls breaking open the doors and flooding into the meeting room, squealing their heads off as the countries attempt to escape.

* * *

"EEEEEEE! THEY'RE HERE! THEY'RE REALLY HERE!" screamed one rabid fangirl.

"PRRUSSSIAA! MARRY ME!" yelled another fangirl.

"I SHIP YOU TWO SO HARD OMG GET TOGETHER ALREADY!" one fangirl screamed, pointing at France and England.

"USUK! USUK!" one roared.

"FRUK! FRUK!" the first retorted.

The countries stared at each other in confusion.

"Are they... cussing?"

"Ladies, ladies, calm down, there's enough of the Awesome Me to go around!" Prussia said, laughing.

Many fangirls took that statement quite literally, and they pounced onto Prussia, squealing.

The countries stared in horror as the watched Prussia disappear under a huge pile of fangirls, and hoped that they would be able to escape before they were subjected to the same fate.

"GAH- AWESOME CANNOT BE HELD BA-MMPPFF... ENOUGH FOR ALL YOU LOVELY LADIEMPPFFH..."

And so ended the legacy of the Awesome Prussia. Died when crushed by fangirls. A very noble way to die.

Joking! Don't kill me, please. **(A/N: Sorry, I just had to pop that in there.)**

However, it was only a short while before all the fangirls who didn't ship Prussia with themselves dragged him out, to satisfy their own intense shipping/OTP needs. What they had forgotten, however, was that there was one Prussia. ONE. The world wouldn't be able to handle the intense awesomeness that came with two Prussias.

Such was the case with all the other nations. ONE. And only one.

Screams of horror issued from the countries mouths as the realization dawned upon them: Their fanbase was completely and utterly crazy, and they were trying to get them to get into relationships with each other. All the fangirls were chanting their OTP's as they dragged around the poor countries, trying to pair them up, with the occasional "I-ship-you-with-myself-let's-get married" fangirl clinging onto the country.

"GIVE ME THE BOOTY, SPAIN!" screamed one.

"LET US BECOME ONE, RUSSIA!" a fangirl yelled at a terrified Russia, who was suddenly reminded of his sister.

"IIIGGGGGYYY!" squealed another, as she tackled England.

So while that was going on, there were plenty of other fangirls dragging a very horrified country to the country that they shipped them with. A perfect system, only there was one problem: NoTP's and OTP's.

So while some fangirls were sighing with delight when China was pushed onto Russia, (A very infuriated Belarus was soon to be on the rampage) other screamed, kicked, and dragged the two apart again.

They were also very confused, because they were unable to find Canada at all.

"CANADA, HONEY?" yelled one confused fangirl.

"Canada? Caannaadaa?" whispered a Canada cosplayer, thinking that she could force him to "come into existence" if she whispered.

"SENPAI CANADA SENPAI COME OUT!" screamed a (very creepy) fangirl.

For the first time, Canada was glad that he was invisible. Because otherwise, he would be shoved, hugged, kissed, and shipped with other countries.

It was a giant game of tug-a-war mixed with a dating website.

It was, put in very simple terms, a weird day.

In less simple terms, the nations were dragged, hugged, tackled, got their hair messed up, kissed, drawn, taken pictures of, fangirled over, and had heard so many squeals it was a wonder that their eardrums hadn't burst yet.

Of course, when the police showed up, the chaos was put into a momentary pause until one fangirl tackled an officer, screaming something about "Stupid police ruining her love life and that she would _never_ leave her precious Spainard and his booty," and the chaos ran rampart again, and the police couldn't do anything about the sheer number of girls.

In the end, they managed to separate the girls from the countries, though it involved a ton of food, free Hetalia merchandise, bribes, and an autograph from Prussia to accomplish it.

* * *

America, clad in fuzzy bunny slippers and a robe, skimmed the newspaper with Tony, the latter saying seemingly random curse words. He didn't have to look very far to find the headline he was looking for, as it was emblazoned in big, bold letters on the front:

 _"RABID HORDE OF GIRLS BREAK INTO HOTEL; MOB AMBASSADORS DURING WORLDWIDE MEETING"_

Chills ran down his spine as he recalled those dreadful moments. The article seemed interesting enough, however, and he decided to proceed with the article. If it was important enough to be on the front page, then maybe he could get famous!

 _"During the annual worldwide ambassador meeting, a group of young girls claiming to know the ambassadors on a personal level broke into the _ Hotel at 10:15 AM. No physical harm was done to the ambassadors themselves, however, some have been sent to the hospital for their psychological health. The girls were taken to the police station for questioning; no information has been released about the questionings. However, it seems that the girls seem to think that they know the ambassadors, some were reported to have hung on to the ambassadors and told the police to "-BLEEP- off," one young girl claimed that she was married to one of them. The girls were taken back into their homes; many of them have been recommended to undergo psychological therapy."_

No mention of him at all. Terrible reporters! Then again, the actual knowledge of anthromomo-whatchamacallit countries was classified info that only the old boss and a few other peeps knew, so he couldn't expect too much. Still, at least just like, mention "American ambassador" some place in the article!

As he was ranting to Tony about it, ("I should ask the boss to make them actually credit me, I'm the freaking USA") his phone rang.

"Oh, it's the boss. Gotta take this, hold on-Hello?"

 _"Alfred, what's this all about?"_

Shoot. He found out.

"Watcha talking 'bout? I don't know what you're talking about."

 _"Alfred. The meeting. The fangirls."_

"Oh... Um... Yeah, about that..."

 _"What did you do?"_

"Um... give them the location of the meeting?"

 _"ALFRED! WHY?"_

"They gave me a pass for free burgers for a month!"

 _"You know that the knowledge of anthropomorphic countries is classified information! Alfred..."_

"Sorry! I won't do it again..."

 _"I've been getting calls from the others, Alfred. They aren't exactly happy about it."_

"Umm..."

 _"Alfred. I need you to stop this. You're going to get some angry calls from the others soon."_

"Wait- You're telling the others?"

 _"Yes."_

"Iggy? The Commie Bastard? Moneybags too?"

" _England, Russia, and China, yes. All the others, as well."_

"Aww, dude..."

 _"That's it, Alfred. I need to see you tomorrow at six, okay?"_

"Fine... Seeya."

America hung up and glanced at Tony forlornly, who was still drinking a giant soda, and cussing non-stop.

"I'm dead, Tony..."

His phone exploded with noise, freaking America to the point where he jumped into the air and started clinging to Tony.

"AAAHHHH! Oh, it's just my phone..."

He picked up the phone, only to stare at it in horror.

All the countries were calling him. And all of them were texting him. He cancelled all the calls, only to see the text messages.

IggyBrows: _WHAT THE BLOODY HELL WERE YOU THINKING? HOW OLD ARE YOU? GO SIT IN A CORNER AND THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU'VE DONE!_

Moneybags: _I am going to kill you. NOT ONCE IN MY 4000 YEARS HAVE I EVER BEEN INSULTED IN THIS WAY! DISHONOR ON YOU AND YOUR STUPID ALIEN!_

America gasped. "Tony, he called you stupid!"

Commie Bastard: _Thank you for the lovely time, da? However, I will begin planning your gruesome death later, do not worry! I will also begin plotting the death of those girls soon._

Canadia (Bro): _America... Please don't ever do this again... Kumo wants to kill you._

French Fry: _Thank you, America! Though I will want to ask you to keep the fangirls toned down a bit, it was a little over the top._

Tomato No.1: _F*** YOU, BASTARD! SCREW YOU! I WILL DROWN YOU AND YOUR F***ING ALIEN AND KILL YOU FIFTY THOUSAND TIMES_

America stared at the phone. "Tony, everyone's insulting you!"

Wurst and Tech stuff: _America, I am highly disappointed in you. Please don't do this anymore. I believe all the others are extremely angry at the moment._

AWEESOME: _DUDE! AMERICA! THAT WAS AWWEESOMMMEE! NOT AS AWESOME AS ME, BUT LIKE, HALF WAY OR SOMETHING. But like West wants to kill you so like you might wanna run soon and those fangirls are like kinda over the top, BUT DUDE! AWESOMEEEE! Yeah, and like bring some bulletproof stuff next time._

America slumped over, depressed.

"Tony... I'm going to die."

* * *

 _At the next meeting:_

"Where's America?" asked Spain, casually slinging a bag of CD's over his shoulder.

"I dunno. F*** him, anyway, for making us do that." grumped Romano, grabbing a pair of earphones and testing them..

"Roma-chan!" said Spain, scandalized.

"What?"

"I think he's avoiding us, aru," said China, grabbing a length of rope.

"Aww... Well, we just need to drag him in, da? I will go do that!"

Russia skipped happily out the room.

"..."

"Don't you guys think this is a bit too over the top? I mean, it's a little too mean," Finland said, "And he won't be happy at all..."

He was cut off when Sweden put a hand on his shoulder.

"He deserves it."

"Oh-oh, o-okay!"

"I have him!" Russia said cheerfully, dragging a very panicked America into the room, and plopping onto a chair as all the countries surrounded him, hindering any chance of escape.

"Oh.. Hi, guys! Um... Wassup?" America said meekly.

"You. Are. Dead." England growled at him.

Russia grabbed the rope and tied America to the chair, smiling happily.

"I know you have super strength, so we reinforced this rope, da? And we're going to shoving your hands in these-" he motioned to a pair of gloves with lead weights with a chain that would fasten it to the chair, "And giving you earphones that we will fasten to your head with this headgear!" And a gag, too! Can't have you screaming too loudly!"

Wait, earphones? How was this a punishment at all?

"Spain? The latptop." asked England, motioning to the laptop Spain had in his hands. Spain handed the laptop to China, who starting typing furiously.

"Are you sure you downloaded all the songs onto here?" England asked, raising an extremely bushy eyebrow.

"Yes!" Spain said cheerfully. "I had Germany check if I did, too!"

"Good." England nodded, and grinned creepilly at America. "You're going to regret messing with us, America. Russia, everything fastened?"

Russia looked up, having just finished slapping the headgear on. "Da! You may start now!"

China picked up the laptop, plugged in the headphones, and pressed the play button.

The countries watched America, waiting for his reaction.

 _Time elapsed: 0.014 seconds._

A look of horror stretched across America's face as he struggled to free his hands from Russia's gloves and tear the headphones. A panicked look grew in America's eyes, and his eyes darted around, silently pleading with his fellow countries for mercy.

"Come on, let's go. Get some food, or something." England said as he started walking to the door.

"Bye bye!" Russia said cheerfully. "Enjoy!"

"He can't hear you, Russia. We made sure to turn the volume as high as it would go, aru." China said, walking out the door with his hands in his pockets.

"And thanks, Canadia. For lending us those CD's, I mean," Spain said, slapping (A now relatively visible) Canada on the shoulder.

"No problem," Canada whispered. "I needed to get rid of those, anyway."

"I still do not believe we should have given such a harsh punishment to America-san," Japan said, walking down the hallway.

"Psh, whatever," Romano said, munching a tomato.

"I am deleting those songs from my laptop afterwards, aru."

The last country (Greece) made sure to lock the door behind him and leave America to suffer silently.

 _"Baby, baby, baby, ooo!"_ sang the pop artist whose songs were now playing in the headphones.

And in the room, America was subjected to true horror.

* * *

 **A/N: The Christmas thing in August is legit. I don't know how many of you are currently in the US, but we have HALLOWEEN stuff on the store shelves and it's August. AUGUST. America is easily bribed using hamburger coupons. I know that not all us Hetalia fans are like that, but... there are some INTENSE fans out there. Once again, thanks for all the support! (2p Nordics coming up soon, I promise)**

 **Guess who the pop artist is! (It's quite easy, I promise. You've heard of him. American's mainly hate him, too.)**

 **Now that school is starting up, updates will be a bit late, but the story will continue!**

 **Thanks for reading! Critique is appreciated!**


	8. Doitsuism

**A/N: ASDFLASKDJFSLKDJF GUYS WE PASSED 70 REVIEWS ASDLFKLSKDFJSLDKFSLDKFJ**

 **YOU PEOPLE ARE ALL SO AWESOME**

 **Enjoy another chapter on fangirls! No more terrible pop singers, I promise from the depths of my heart. This chapter was hard to write... My ideas are floating around in my head and I can't write them properly...**

* * *

 **Abc: I apologize for the beaver. And yes, Gutters has destroyed my life.**

 **K.m: I apologize for the beaver as well. Thanks for the recommendations!**

* * *

Once was enough.

The second time, Germany would rather have face-planted into a bowl of America's high-fat "chili" and stayed there while listening to one of his "freedom rants," also known as giant disorganized impromptu speeches about how he kicked England's butt so hard, and improved on Italy's pizza. (The latter was not true, under any circumstance. The last time they tried America's pizza, Italy and Romano had freaked out and somehow attached themselves to the ceiling, Romano cussing America out, and Italy whimpering for Grandpa Rome, but that's a story for another day.)

Germany was known for his cool, his professionalism, and the way that he managed to keep even Italy under control. He was not known for the way he adored the fangirls of the fanbase, especially since the last... incident.

So when the doorbell rang and Germany looked through the peephole to see who it was, he choked, stumbled backwards, and slopped coffee all down his front, resulting in a huge stain that would probably never come off.

How did they find his house? Did America relay that information to the girls again?

But the girls were blocking the street, (And carrying giant posters and signs with his head on them, which wasn't normal under ANY circumstance) and causing a traffic jam, so... CALL THE POLICE AND GET THEM OUT FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS BEER RELATED.

"Weessstt! We ran out of- Whoa! Cool, West, did you start a cult or something? But couldn't you have chosen some better members? Like, I would say some of Japan's awesome ninjas, and maybe some of America's awesome nukes. THAT would be cool."

Germany stared at his older brother, who had just materialized in the hallway, holding an empty bag of bird feed.

"What? Not awesome enough? Hey, wait, why didn't you invite the awesome me to join your cult?" Prussia whined. "I'm your awesome big bro, West! I feel offended! Oh, wait, maybe the awesomeness was too much to handle... Aww, you're such a softie, West! You care waay to much for your cult members!" he said, patting his Germany's back roughly.

Germany was seriously wondering if his brother had something akin to a mental problem at this stage.

"Prussia," he began, "Could you phone my boss and tell him about-"

"Whoa, whoa, West," Prussia said, putting his hand up in a "stop" motion. "That's the whole fun of making a cult! I remember starting one 'bout a thousand years ago, it was way too fun."

Germany raised an eyebrow. "You mean to tell me that you actually the head of the cult that terrorized Ireland and ended up creating Halloween."

Prussia shrugged. "Yup! It's awesome, little bro. But hey! Everyone loves it! Candy, only I don't like it when people pass out those marshmallow chicks, cause they look too much like Gilbird and he gets offended and it's kinda like cannibalism and I really don't-"

"Look, Prussia, I don't have a cult, and they certainly aren't my members," Germany cut in. "So could you please call my boss while the fangirls in the streets are actually calm for a bit?"

Prussia gasped, a horrified look on his face. "West! You terrible, terrible, cult leader! Look at them!" He grabbed Germany's face and forced him to face the window, where the girls where standing, chanting something that he couldn't hear. "Do you see the loyalty? And you call them fangirls! West, I raised you better than this!"

Germany sighed and said, "For the last time, I don't have a cult!"

Prussia's horrified face was evident. "West! You aren't awesome at all!" He paused and seemed to contemplate something, twirling the empty bag of bird feed on his finger.

"Ah!" he yelled. A true lightbulb moment. "To make you appreciate your cult members better, I'm gonna let them in!"

"WHAT?"

But Prussia was halfway to the door, whistling while carrying his empty bag of bird feed. Germany stared in horror as his brother's hand landed on the doorknob, and pulled the door open.

The crowd outside his door grew silent.

"HEY! ALL WEST'S CULT MEMBERS!" he yelled. "SEE, HE'S BEING KINDA DISRESPECTFUL AT THE MOMENT, AND SINCE I'M HIS AWESOME BIG BRO, IMMA LET YOU ALL IN! YOU HAVE MY PERMISSION, UM..."

A girl in the crowd yelled, "DOITSUISTS!"

Prussia grinned and turned back to look at Germany. "Bro, you thought up a pretty awesome name!" Then he turned to face the crowd once more. "WELCOME TO MY HOUSE OF AWESOME, DOITSUISTS!"

He then stepped outside to avoid the massive amount of girls that were starting to flood into the room, chanting "Doitsu! Doitsu! Doitsu!"

Germany stared at the girls in horror and stood there, preparing for an onslaught of hugging, kissing, and perhaps some high pitched squealing.

What he got instead was about a few hundred girls cramming into his living room, falling to their knees, and bowing to him.

Prussia whistled. "Bro, you started a religious cult? Awesome! You'll be great in the future, trust me, West," he said as we wiped his teary eyes with the bag of bird feed. Germany, however, just stared at the fangirls, wondering what they had up their sleeves.

One girl stopped bowing at stared at Germany intensely. She then proceded to say, "Our lord Doitsu, how long we have searched for you! We must now begin the welcoming!"

Prussia stopped crying happily, and stared at Germany with a watery smile. "You got them to worship you, too? West, you're growing up faster than I thought!"

Three girls stepped forward, each carrying a tray, one loaded with wurst, one with potatoes, and one crammed with bottles of beer as the rest of the girls chanted, "Shine bright like a Doitsu!"

Germany stared at the three girls, who then knelt in front of him, offering him their trays.

"Our Lord Doitsu!" the first girl said breathlessly, "How long and hard we have searched for you! The road has been hard, the path full of thorns, but now we will celebrate! We are yours to command! We must shine like a Doitsu!"

"Please, accept this humble offering!" the second girl said. "Our Lord Doitsu is worthy!"

"To shine like a Doitsu is our mission!" the third girl whispered creepily. "We must shine like a Doitsu!"

Germany stared at the crowd of girls in his house (A few were sniffing the walls, mumbling something about "The scent of Doitsu") and decided that he needed to get them out in order to preserve his sanity. But first, a few questions.

"How did you find me?" he asked the first girl. "Who told you where I lived?"

"Our hearts followed your shine!" she whispered. "We hacked into the databases and found your location, my lord Doitsu! We must rid the world of anti-Dotisuists!"

He made a mental notice to inform his boss about the security breach.

"Are you uncomfortable, our lord?" the second girl said. "We may allow you to relax before the ceremony!"

Knowing the fanbase, Germany was sure that this "ceremony" was probably going to involve hugs, kisses, high-pitched squealing, and the destruction of his house.

He nodded and said, "Allow me to- um- enter my holy office(?) and make a call before the... ceremony."

"OF COURSE, OUR LORD DOITSU!" the girls said in unison. "WE MUST FOLLOW YOUR COMMANDS TO SHINE LIKE A DOITSU!"

Creepiness level: OVER 10,000! Germany then stepped into the hallway and bolted to his office, where he punched in his boss's number on his cell.

 _"Hello?"_

"It's Ludwig."

 _"Oh! Ludwig! Why the call?"_

"I'm sorry, sir, but you're not going to believe it. Code Red."

 _"Ah, got it. I'll send the police."_

"Thank you, sir."

 _"I recommend you grab your brother and escape from the house, Ludwig."_

"Yes, sir."

* * *

"Yo, Germany! Wassup, dude? So like, for that whole appreciate the fanbase thing, I saw this thing online called Doitsuism and it is HILLARIOUS, man. Like, you should totally check it out! Hello? Germany? Hello? Duuuddeee, are you listening to me?"

"Ve~ Germany, are you okay? I heard you were swamped with girls, it must have been nice! Germany? Germany? GERMANY DID I MAKE YOU DIE?"

Germany was unable to talk for weeks after the incident.

* * *

 **A/N: So I looked up Doitsuism and I sort of died... It was hilarious.**

 **Thanks for reading! Recommendations and critique are appreciated!**


	9. Cosplay I

**A/N: So how many of you actually read the A/N's? Just wondering. As a new resolution, I have decided that I will now keep the guest responses down the chapter and will keep the ones above as short as possible.**

 **Also, if you reviewed the last few chapters and didn't get a reply, I'M SO SORRY I LOST TRACK OF WHO I REPLIED TO AND WHO I DIDN'T! If you review after this is posted, I'll do my best to reply to you, I promise.**

 **I'm sure most of you have noticed how long it has take me to upload this chapter. I apologize for the wait. Debate season has started, and combined with school, I haven't had much time to focus on my story and do the research necessary. As a warning, future chapters may be delayed.**

 **DISCLAIMER: Hetalia belongs to Hidekaz Himaruya. I do not own the anime, or its characters. If I did, let's just say that Romano would have a lot more appearances.**

* * *

After the last few barrages of fangirls, when Germany told the countries that they would be reviewing the anime itself, all the countries stared at him and hoped that he was joking.

He wasn't.

"WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?" Switzerland shouted. "HAVE YOU SEEN WHAT THAT DID TO THOSE INNOCENT GIRLS OUT THERE? IT CORRUPTED THEIR MINDS! THEY'VE TURNED INTO HETALIA FANS AND HAVE GONE COMPLETELY CRAZY! NO WAY AM I LETTING LIECHTENSTEIN SEE THAT! WHAT IF SHE BECOMES ONE OF THEM?"

Even Japan was shaking his head. "Germany-san, I do not believe that this is a wise decision."

America, however, was so enthusiastic about watching more of Japan's "cartoons" ("America-san, they are not cartoons, for the last time!") that he lugged Tony over to the sofa, grabbed a bucket of popcorn slathered in butter, and changed into a robe with bunny slippers.

"You know, Tony, I wonder if this thing's a cartoon? That would explain a lot!" he said, munching loudly on his popcorn while Tony slurped soda.

"America-san, the anime is not cartoons," Japan said.

"Nah, dude, it totally is! I went on the web and people are calling it the "International Yaoi Festival! So it's a cartoon! Hey, what's yaoi?" America asked, still eating popcorn.

"... The first fanfiction that we read, America-san."

America froze mid-chew and curled up into a tiny America ball, having still not recovered from the first incident. "How can you say that so calmly?" he whimpered.

Germany, however, was having an extremely hard time convincing the rest of the countries to watch the anime.

"Look, if we watch this anime, then-"

"I DON'T GIVE A F***, POTATO BASTARD! I'M NOT WATCHING IT! NOT FOR A HUNDRED TOMATOES!" Romano roared.

"How about a thousand tomatoes, Roma?" Spain said cheerfully behind Romano.

"NO! YOU GOTTA GIVE ME MORE, BASTARD!" he said as he pointed aggressively at Spain.

"I really don't care. How about I give you all snacks, and we can solve this, aru?" China said, holding a giant basket of assorted cookies.

"LOOK!" Germany roared, effectively shutting up every country in the room. "IF WE WATCH THIS, WE'LL ACTUALLY UNDERSTAND THE FANGIRLS AND CAN EFFECTIVELY AVOID THEM, GOT IT?"

"NO! I AIN'T DOING ANYTHING YOU SAY, POTATO BASTARD!" Romano shouted.

"Ve~ Why don't we just eat pasta?" Italy chirped from behind Germany. "Then we don't have to do anything!"

The whole room erupted in loud conversation/shouting/general chaos. England had a conversation with his imaginary friends, America came out of his little America ball and started chatting with Japan loudly as Italy ran around the room screaming "PASTA!" while Romano screamed at him to shut up as Spain, Prussia, and France started an impromptu rock concert on the table while Germany tried to restore order. China stuffed snacks into his mouth as Russia stood behind him, smiling cheerfully as Belarus stared at him creepily from across the room.

"Shut up." Russia said as his creepy grin emerged. "Sit down or I will gut and skin you."

The whole room froze as they all ran back to their seats, some tripping over microphones and assorted speakers, as well as quite a few wires and the legs of a piano chair.

"So... um... as I was saying, we will be reviewing the actual anime today, do I have any objections?" Germany said, glancing at Russia nervously.

"YES-" Romano began, but he stopped as soon as he saw Russia, who was glaring at him creepily. "Um... No?"

"That's what I thought," Russia said cheerfully, causing all the nations to tremble.

* * *

 _Scene 1: Axis Powers, Episode 1_

"Hey, why is the name of the thing called _axis_ powers? Why not allied powers? Because we totally kicked-butt, you know. Well, I kicked-butt. But still! I'm America! Why isn't this thing named after me?" America whined, pouting slightly.

"Because, you wanker, the creator can name the bloody thing anything he wants!" England said.

"But still!"

Germany sighed as he clicked on the first episode, and the movie watching began.

"HEY!" America shouted through a mouthful of popcorn. "IT'S ME! SEE?" he said as he pointed at the screen. "HOT DAMN! I LOOK AMAZING! And I'm the first one! Cool! I won't nuke this guy after all! But I sound weird..."

"SHUT UP, AMERICA!" the other countries shouted.

They continued to watch the next few seconds in silence, noting Belgium's appearance, and wondering why Spain was smiling at a random maid.

"Look, Swe- Mr. Sweden!" Finland said happily. "We're sitting next to each other!"

"Nice," was Sweden's only remark.

The room lapsed into awkward silence until-

"Ya know," America said, regarding the plan that anime-America had suggested in response to global warming, "That isn't a bad idea at all! It's pretty cool! Hey, maybe we should have a giant superhero shield the Earth! I won't take any objections!"

"It's creepy how accurate the anime has portrayed America so far..." Lithuania murmured. "They got his personality down perfectly."

After two seconds, America said once again:

"HEY! IT'S JAPAN! DUDE, YOU LOOK WEIRD, YOUR EYES ARE HUGE! Oh, it's Switzerland..."

"Don't sound so dejected!" Switzerland yelled.

But America completely ignored Switzerland, and shouted once more:

"Oh, it's Iggy! WOW! Wait a sec, Germany, lemme pause this-" he said as he reached over and paused the video. "WOW! THOSE EYEBROWS ARE HUUUGE!" he said, pointing at the screen.

"MY EYEBROWS ARE NOT THAT BIG!" England shouted.

America unpaused the video, but after that, France said:

"They are, _angleterre,"_ he purred. "Oh, would you look at that! It's me!" He paused, then turned to Japan and asked: "Japan, is it normal for roses to be popping up randomly?"

"Yes, France-san."

"SHUT UP!" Germany roared.

After that, the rest of the episode was watched in silence. That is, until after the credits.

"It really is creepy, they got our personalities down perfectly... And how the world meeting typically goes," Lithuania muttered to the rest of the Baltic trio, who nodded in agreement.

"Weeesttt! They didn't show any of the Awesome Me in there!" Prussia whined.

"I didn't see myself either," Norway mused. "Perhaps I was being a good big brother and taking Iceland out shopping?"

"Shut up," Iceland said.

Canada, on the other hand, wasn't surprised that he wasn't mentioned.

"I guess it's normal," he said mildly.

"Who are you?" Kumajirou asked.

"I'm Canada."

"Hey! Germany! I just remembered something- here," America said, handing Germany a crumpled sheet of paper that he had dug out from his coat pocket. "Read it tell me what you think, 'kay?"

Germany hesitated slightly, knowing very well that America's ideas were often stupid and rather pointless, but he took the crumpled sheet of notebook paper with a few words scribbled on it in pencil nonetheless.

He just hoped that his idea wouldn't be as crazy as the one where he had suggested nuking the fangirls.

* * *

"So let me get this straight," Germany said, staring at the sloppy handwriting on the sheet of lined paper that America had just given him. "You want us to go to one of your things called 'anime-expo,' where a bunch of people gather to sell their own products. Why do we need to go there in the first place?"

"Because," America said, leaning backwards on his chair. "You know, getting to know the fans and all that, so I thought, well why not?"

"I agree with America-san," Japan said. "But to avoid suspicion, we will have to pretend we are fans cosplaying, though that will be easy, we will just need to dress up as ourselves."

"Cool! It's like Halloween, right? Only I'm myself for Halloween!" America said cheerfully. "So, uh, how do I dress up as myself again?"

"WE HAVEN'T EVEN DECIDED IF WE WERE GOING, AMERICA!" England roared.

"We are, Iggy!" America shouted cheerfully. "I said so!"

"Just because you said so doesn't mean that we're going!"

"Yes, it does! Because I'm America!"

"I agree with America-san," Japan said automatically.

"GET YOUR OWN OPINION ALREADY!" Switzerland shouted, banging on the table.

"I really don't care," China said.

"SHUT UP!" Germany roared. The meeting room instantly quieted as all the nations stopped talking and turned to face Germany, who was getting extremely fed up with his fellow nations.

"Okay, so," Germany said. "I think that going to America's anime-expo is a good idea-"

"SEE? IN YOUR FACE, IGGY!" America yelled, standing up suddenly and planting his hands on his hips. "YOU SHOULD NEVER DOUBT THE HERO OF TRUTH! AND JUSTICE! AND-"

"SHUT UP AND SIT DOWN, AMERICA!" Germany roared. America opened his mouth to retort, but realized that Russia was glaring at him intensely and quickly sat back down.

"Anyway," Germany continued, "I think this is a good idea, because we can get to know the fans better, though we will need to figure out the best thing to wear so that we will seem like fans. Japan, could you help us with that?"

"With pleasure, Germany-san." Japan said eagerly. "I will do my best."

"So... Uh... How do we dress up as ourselves, then?" America asked, sipping his coke.

Which made Japan re-enter his "Someone doesn't know about _ and I must tell them everything about it" mode and give the nations a brief (two hour long) lecture on cosplay, including how to make a cosplay, how to make Goku hair, how to dress up in a cute schoolgirl uniform, how to apply the makeup, how to take a proper selfie of yourself while cosplaying, and how to act like Goku when cosplaying as Goku.

"Uh... Japan, I don't think any of us are going as Goku..." Germany said once Japan had finished.

"What? Goku? Dude, I AM Goku!" America said cheerfully, munching on popcorn. "Hey, Goku is that dude with big hair, right? Isn't he like, super mega powerful or something? Just like me! I'm going as Goku!"

"You are NOT, America!" England yelled from across the room.

"Yes, I am!"

After two screaming wars, looking up the word "Goku" sixteen hundred times, super saiyan imitations, memes, Christmas songs (Courtesy of Finland) and many, many cuss words, it was finalized that America would not be going as Goku and would be going as himself, much to America's disappointment, namely because he would never get to show up his "Super Saiyan skills."

"So, Japan, could you please show up how to... Uh... cosplay as ourselves?" Germany asked.

"Gladly, Germany-san."

* * *

"Wait... Are all these people girls?" America asked, confused. "Cause all these people look like girls in eyeliner and our outfits. I don't even wear eyeliner!"

"Not all of these people are girls, America-san," Japan explained.

"Oh, okay. But still!"

"That's what you're worried about?" England muttered. "What I want to know is why the person that's supposed to be me has drawn on lines above their eyebrows with sharpie, apparently."

"I think it's because you're eyebrows are so thick, Angleterre," France said, smirking. "But it's very accurate, is it not?"

"SHUT UP, YOU BLOODY FROG! MY EYEBROWS ARE NOT THAT THICK!"

"Oh, really? Because in the anime, your eyebrows are literally six individual lines above each other! Of course, that has to mean something, doesn't it?"

America went on to the next picture and burst out laughing.

"Hey, France! See, in this one you're making out with this dude with huge eyebrows! Is that England? Hey, England, you're making out with France in this one!"

"Onhonhonhonhon... I am the country of love, after all!" France proclaimed, roses popping up everywhere.

"GET THAT PICTURE OUT OF MY FACE!" England yelled.

"Hey... You're eyebrows are huge in every single one of these!" America remarked. "See, this one looks like they glued hairy caterpillars onto their forehead... This one looks like they drew more lines on their forehead with sharpie... More hairy caterpillars... I think this dude's eyebrows are at least three inches thick! Hey, England, you have big eyebrows!"

"For the last time, my eyebrows are NOT that huge!" England yelled.

The countries went onto the next picture, which featured a certain invisible country.

"Who's the one carrying the bear? And the maple leaf... Is that really a country?" Russia mused, staring at the computer. "I do not believe that is a country, da? I have not seen him around.

"I think that might be a fan-made thing," Spain said. "But honestly, who is that supposed to be?"

"I dunno, bastard," Romano said, chomping loudly on a tomato.

"They- They can see me?" Canada said quietly, staring at the computer. "The fans- They know who I am?"

"Who are you?" Kumajirou asked.

"I'm Canada... And that fan is supposed to be me...

* * *

"Hey, this one looks a lot like you, China!" America said excitedly, pointing at the computer screen. "See?"

"Yeah... It does look a bit like Mr. China," Lithuania said.

"Mr?" America asked, confused. "Isn't China a girl? I mean like, the person doing this cosplay is a girl..."

"America!" Finland yelled. "Don't-"

 _3...2...1... Boom._

"HOW MANY TIMES TO I HAVE TO TELL YOU? I AM NOT A GIRL, ARU!"

The meeting room was destroyed once more, the computer smashed in half, America sent to the ER, the chandelier had somehow detached itself from the ceiling, the Nordics were found huddling together the single intact corner, muttering something about demons and the dangers of a wok, one of the walls had a large hole leading to the outside, the lights were smashed, the chairs no longer had any legs and their cushions were shredded, the carpeting had been ripped up, half of the countries were piled on top of China, attempting to calm him down, and the countries were permanently banned from the hotel.

Total cost of repairing the room: $6,943,189.09. China refused to pay more than half of that amount, claiming that America was responsible. America blamed the costs on China. In the end, the hotel was never paid, and the nations simply found the second-fanciest hotel in America to hold their meetings.

"Somehow we always manage to get kicked out, don't we?" America said happily as he walked down the sidewalk to the subway station.

"Don't say that so happily!" England barked, shoving his hands into his coat pockets.

"We never did get the cosplay down, did we?" Finland sighed as he walked with Sweden.

"Mmm. I guess so," Sweden said.

"Oh! Where's Iceland and Norway?" Finland asked Denmark, who was strutting next to the two of them.

"Oh, Nor's taking Icy out shopping!" Denmark said cheerfully. "Something about I Heart New York shirts..."

* * *

 **A/N: I would like to apologize for not keeping my promise on 2p Nordics... Let's just say that I don't have the Nordic personalities down and my last attempt at writing it was a complete and utter failure. So the Nordics will be onhold for a while, let's just say, until I learn how to write them properly.**

* * *

 **GUEST REVIEW RESPONSES:**

 **Poponpop: Fangirls have been completed. Also, like I said above, I don't quite have the Nordics down yet, so it might be a while until I can write them properly, sooo... Yeah. Thanks for the review!**

 **Guest: Gutters? Do you mean the mass of heart-wrenching, feels, and general ocean of tears inducing fanfiction that broke my heart and now I can't look at the rest of the Nordics the same? Yeah. Also, I am STILL not over Denny's death.**

 **Amazonka2002: Thank you very much! I'm flattered that you compare it to Prussia (Though in all honesty, Prussia is too awesome to be compared to this) and I'm glad I made you laugh that hard! Just avoid any harmful injuries, and we're good. I enjoyed the one on Doitsuism as well, one of my friends is a Doitsuist and was very, VERY pissed that I didn't involve the German sparkle parties... And yes, it was Gutters. Good job for getting the Mulan reference, too!**

 **Hetalian4Life: Ah. Hetalian fangirl alert. Well, don't worry, half of the fandom is crazy. And look up Doitsuism if you're interested. Lots of info on it.**

* * *

 **Thanks for reading! Critique is appreciated!**


	10. Prussia and Photoshop

**A/N: I'm looking for a beta to help me with the story's grammar and general writing. PM me if you're interested!**

 **Also, if anyone has any recommendations, I would be glad to know them. Angsty things are loved.**

* * *

Prussia was bored.

Terribly, terribly bored.

Was it possible for awesome to be bored? Yes. It was also possible for awesome to be sprawled on the couch, munching on a large bag of potato chips, and flicking through the TV channels with Gilbird perched on his head.

Of course, he could always go and annoy the priss Austria, summon a horde of fangirls to go and piss West off again, (West had started flinching involuntarily whenever he passed a girl, which pissed off the majority of the female nations) hold a drinking contest and get himself thrown out of the country, go to America and stock up on whatever he found at the counters in the shopping markets, the possibilities were endless.

But today was a lazy day in which he didn't want to do anything, but at the same time, he needed to do SOMETHING. He still didn't want to muster the energy to lug himself off the couch and stop staring at the television screen.

So since he was bored of television, he tossed the half-eaten bag of chips to the side, stood up tiredly, and dragged himself over to his room and opened his laptop, deciding to surf the internet until he was bored of it. It was possible to be bored of the internet. That was amazing in itself.

 _Tap. Tap._ Nothing new. _Tap tap._ Social media's boring. _Tap. Tap._ Why hasn't anyone uploaded yet? _Tap. Tap._

Desperate for entertainment, Prussia searched up "Things to do when super bored," though he wasn't expecting any good results from any of the websites. Probably "Read a book!" or "Hang out with friends and family!"

 _Boring. Done that for the past two-hundred years already. Don't have any new things to read. Too much work to go outside. Boring. No. Terrible idea. Sounds nice, but West would kill me._

Once Prussia began nearing the bottom of the page, he started giving up on it altogether, until he saw this:

#156: Photoshop your friends and family and laugh at the results.

Oh, now THAT sounded nice. Ever since the nations had watched the first episode of their anime, he had quickly gotten addicted to it, and finished all the seasons in the span of three days, going quite insane in the process.

Grinning, Prussia pulled up a few snapshots that he had taken and inspected them carefully.

Perfect.

* * *

"Prussia?" Germany said, knocking on his brother's door lightly. "The world meeting. We're hosting it. Get up."

No response from the door, or Prussia himself.

"Prussia. Prussia!"

Still nothing.

"Prussia, I'm breaking in... 3, 2, 1-"

Germany burst into his brother's room and found a snoring Prussia slumped on his desk next to a large stack of papers, his laptop still open and drool coating the table surface. Candy wrappers were strewn across the floor, in addition to the occasional energy drink can. It was a mess.

"Prussia. Prussia, wake up." Germany said, shaking his older brother roughly.

"Five more minutes," Prussia groaned, attempting to push Germany away. "Go away. Sleeping."

"PRUSSIA! GET UP!"

"Okay, okay..." Prussia mumbled, detaching his cheek from the tabletop. "Wha- what time is it?" Prussia asked, yawning hugely.

"Seven in the morning. Get up." Germany said, shaking his head and turning to inspect the large stack of papers on Prussia's desk. "So this is why you're so sleepy? Wait- What are-"

"Awesome stuff!" Prussia proclaimed proudly. "Stuff for the world meeting! It'll make history, West."

"You photoshopped bacon onto England's eyebrows."

"Awesome, I know. No need to compliment me, West. It'll make the textbooks."

"This one you replaced Austria's head with a- Wait, why exactly did you draw this onto Austria's face?" Germany asked Prussia, frowning.

"Because he is one!" Prussia exclaimed. "It's obvious enough, West!"

"And why is China's head on a panda?"

"I dunno. I was probably drunk," Prussia said, turning to look at the picture.

"You are NOT taking these to the world meeting."

"Make me, West!"

And THAT was how Germany ended up on his rear in the hallway staring at the wall, Prussia's bedroom door slammed in his face. Shaking his head and cursing softly, Germany picked himself off the ground, straightened his outfit, and walked out to his car with as much dignity he could muster, though he still could hear Prussia cackling in his room, and was pretty sure that he was doing a victory dance.

When Prussia showed up in the driveway five minutes later in a rumpled tuxedo and tie, carrying a massive crate full of papers and still grinning, Germany resisted the urge to drive away as quickly as he could to the world meeting and ensure that those pictures would never see the light of day.

But in the end, Prussia ended up sprawled across the backseat, cackling and looking over the poorly-photoshopped pictures that Germany was quite sure would end up staring World War III as they drove along the streets of Berlin.

* * *

"...And I now call this meeting to order," Germany said as he looked out upon his fellow nations, who were seated at a massive table that the hotel had provided for them. "So first on the agenda, the appreciations of our... fans. Does anyone have a suggestion as to how we can-"

"I DO!" America shouted, standing up suddenly and knocking his chair down. "So, I saw this thing online that we should do, it's called, like, I think it was roleplay? And I did it for a bit and was 'Sexy America,' and a lot of people were pretending to be 'Sexy England,' so I did a roleplay with them and it was hilarious, they were probably high or something, and England was like-"

"I DO NOT ROLEPLAY, YOU BLOODY TWAT!" England roared, slamming his fist on the tabletop. "AND SHUT UP!"

"Aww, England, you're just being shy!" America said. "Anyways, there were these people pretending to be "Florida," and I didn't know that my states were like us because I've never seen them before but maybe they're just being weird, and I was like, hey, why don't we roleplay? I can be the all dominant and amazing America, and you all can be the lesser beings who bask in my amazingness and give me burgers-'

"Heeeyyy, hey hey!" Prussia interrupted, bursting the doors of the room open and strutting in with his crate. "How's it going? Oh, America, you giving another one of your plans? Sorry for interrupting you, bro. Anyways, what's happening?"

"You're late," Austria said, glaring at Prussia. "Tell me, how long will it take to register in that tiny little brain of yours that the meeting starts at exactly ten? And that being late is never excusable?"

"Awesome is never late, everyone else is just early, priss," Prussia said, slamming his crate down onto the tabletop, frightening Latvia. "Anyways, I was bored last night, so I made you all presents!"

"Oh, presents!" Finland said happily. "It's a bit early, but here! Let me help!"

"No, no, it's okay," Prussia said, grinning at Finland. "I'll do these myself. But let me tell you the story about making these presents, shall I?"

Germany gave an exasperated sigh and Austria scoffed, crossing his arms tightly across his torso. Italy, however, was so excited that he scooted his chair right next to where Prussia was sitting and started bouncing slightly, quite happy about the prospect of a story.

"So, it was a dark and stormy night," Prussia began in a quiet voice, making exaggerated hand motions. "West, turn off the lights, please..."

Germany raised an eyebrow, but turned off the lights anyway.

"Thanks, West," Prussia said, whipping out a flashlight from underneath the table and holding it under his face. "It was a dark and stormy night. It was dark and stormy, and Awesome was defending himself from the horrors of the... boredom monsters. These monsters would eat you up... Especially if you liked pasta!"

Italy gasped and clung to Germany, whimpering slightly.

"Anyway, so there Awesome was, fighting a heroic battle against these monsters, but there were too many! So Awesome hatched a plan: He would use the most powerful weapon of all... the glorious sword of photoshop!"

Austria gave Prussia a disgusted glance as America munched a candy bar loudly.

"West, you can turn the lights back on now," Prussia said, nodding. "Thanks."

Germany rolled his eyes and flicked the lights back on, though it was noticeably harder with Italy clinging to his shirt.

"So, Awesome won, and decided to share all these with you!" Prussia said, motioning to the large crate happily and lowering his flashlight. "It was awesome making these. So Merry Early Christmas!"

Prussia grabbed the first sheet of paper and passed it around proudly, Germany sighing and getting ready to run out of the room as fast as he could.

* * *

"WHAT THE BLOODY HELL IS THIS?" England roared, slamming the flimsy sheet of paper onto the table, glaring at Prussia intensely. "MY EYEBROWS ARE NOT BACON, YOU- YOU-"

He was interrupted rudely when America burst into laughter after glancing at the sheet of paper, choking on his candy bar. "Dude," America choked out, his eyes watering. "This is perfect. Absolutely amazing. Can I have it?"

Prussia, still grinning, nodded and said: "Of course, bro."

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU GOING TO DO WITH THAT, AMERICA?" England yelled, crumpling up the piece of paper. "DON'T YOU DARE USE IT FOR MY-"

"I was thinking of replacing your passport photo with it," America said, shrugging. He turned to Prussia. "Also, are you sure there's a difference between England and this photo? I can't see a difference."

"WHY, YOU- YOU-"

"Nah, I don't think so," Prussia said, grinning. "But I think he got a haircut in that pic. Or maybe he's wearing a different outfit?" Prussia wrenched the paper from England's fingers and smoothed it out on the table, inspecting it with mock curiosity. "Yeah, i think he got a haircut... France, what do you think?"

"Well," France said, looking over America's shoulder at the picture, "I do believe that he got a haircut! But other than that," France said, turning and smirking at England, "I see no difference."

"YOU BLOODY IDIOTS! WHAT THE HELL- YOU... YOU-"

"I think we broke England," America mused, still chomping on his candy bar and glancing at England. "He can't seem to talk anymore."

"I CAN TALK, YOU BLOODY- BLOODY- bloody..."

While England was struggling to find a curse word foul enough to describe the current situation, Denmark burst into laughter, shaking so hard that he toppled out of his chair and hit his head on the wall behind him.

"Oh my gosh, Nor, look at this!" he wheezed, motioning for Norway. Norway gave Denmark a disgusted look, but walked over anyways.

"See?" Denmark said, clutching at his chest. "Isn't it funny?"

Norway shook his head.

"Fine, fine, be that way," Denmark grumbled. "Hey, Finny! Can you put this into that Christmas card you send to us every year?'

"Oh, sure!" Finland said happily. "I'll make sure that this is the front of the card! Mr. England, you should feel so honored-"

"DON'T YOU DARE PUT THAT STUPID THING ONTO THE FRONT OF THE CHRISTMAS CARD!" England roared. "IF YOU DO, I'LL- I'll- I'll..."

England slumped onto a chair, mumbling unintelligible words to himself as all of the nations stared at him, confused. Finland happily shoved the photo into his pocket and said something to Sweden about "vintage Christmas cards."

"See?" America said, motioning towards England, who had curled up into a ball and rolled into a corner of the room, still muttering darkly to himself. "I told you we broke England!"

"I don't think that's the case, aru..." China said, giving England a perplexed look. "I think your American bacon has gotten to him."

"Really? How?"

England was left to mumble to himself in the corner, while Germany grabbed Prussia's crate of papers and dumped them unceremoniously into a large wastebin, declaring that the rest of the pictures were likely to send all the other nations into insanity as well.

"WEESSTTT! HOW COULD YOU?" Prussia sobbed, lying face-down on the floor. "And we didn't even get to the one where I photoshopped a dress on Switzerland-"

"You photoshopped a WHAT on me?" Switzerland yelled, grabbing the back of Prussia's coat and holding a large gun that he had pulled from nowhere. "SAY THAT ONE MORE TIME, I DARE YOU!"

Prussia, who was not eager to face an angry Switzerland, remained silent and facedown.

And when Christmas rolled around, the picture of England with bacon eyebrows were on the front of the cards that Finland sent out, causing England to lapse into insanity once more.

"See?" America said, motioning towards England, who was hunched in a corner, unwashed and eating raw meat in his darkened living room when they visited his place in London. "I told you, we broke England!"

* * *

 **A/N: So, I actually managed to upload another one and pull together enough time to write it... I'm so tired at the moment, exams are killing me. I hope you all enjoyed this chapter! Please review, and once again, critique is always appreciated!**

* * *

 **Guest responses:**

 **Abc: YES I KNOW GUTTERS OFFICIALLY DESTROYED ME MY PRECIOUS DENMARK WHHYYYY... Thanks for all the reccomendations! I'll check them out, I promise. I need my life to be ruined more by feels. And angsty things are coming up, I promise. Trust me, you're not alone in that aspect... (I like to see them suffer too... I'm such a terrible person)**


	11. Prussia and Photoshop II

**A/N: OH. MY. GOSH.**

 **WE HIT 100 REVIEWS, GUYS, WE HIT 100 REVIEWS**

 **I would just like to take this moment to say: Thank you all so much. It means so much to me that people enjoy this story, and THANK YOU to everyone who has reviewed, followed, favorited, given me recommendations, everything. I'm so glad you all actually like this story, especially since I'm relatively new to fanfiction itself and this was my first.**

 **So, as a special treat, I would have asked my 100th reviewer if they wanted to see anything in general, but they were a guest, so I couldn't PM them… (;_;)**

 **ANYWAY, they did state in their review that they wanted more of Prussia and his photoshop, so that is what I will be doing in this chapter. I** **hope you all enjoy this chapter!**

 **And once again, thank you ALL so much for helping me reach this point, and I will continue to write the highest quality chapters possible for all of you.**

* * *

Prussia felt glorious.

He felt as if the world had just arisen from its broken and dismal state on the wings of Gilbird, shining and golden, with awesome radiating out of every pore, though it wasn't as awesome as he was, of course.

Why did he feel so amazing? The answer was simple:

THE SAVE BUTTON.

When he had returned from the world meeting, the first thing he had done was bolt to his computer and boot it up hurriedly, praying that there would be some way to regain his photoshopped pictures of awesomeness.

And there it was. Sitting there in the midst of a bunch of documents, a lone file shining in the darkness, labeled: "Awesome stuff. West no peeky."

Taking a deep breath, Prussia double-clicked it, hoping for the best.

He got the best.

When he had seen his pictures load on the screen, he whooped, jumped out of his chair onto his bed, and started grinning like a maniac, kissing his plushies happily.

Awesome had prevailed. Justice had won. No more would the horrors of delete plague his awesomeness ever again, no more would West be able to throw out those small packets of awesome into an un-awesome trash bin, no more would anything deter his awesome, for today, Prussia had saved the pictures onto at least six different computers and flash drives.

And so, the process of recreating awesome began as he lugged the printer to his room, locked the door securely and stole the keys for good measure, and began printing out the little packages of awesome.

West would be so proud.

* * *

Germany was horrified.

He was watching the world crumble at his feet, as well as staring at the blank spot in his office where the printer used to sit.

Prussia had taken the printer again.

Germany bolted out of his office, skidded at the turn in the hallway, nearly smashed into the porcelain pot with the banana tree inside that Prussia brought home one night when he was clearly drunk, and slammed into Prussia's door. Regaining his composure, he walked back a few steps and tried the doorknob.

Locked.

"Prussia!" he yelled, pounding on the door. "Prussia, what are you doing with my printer? Unlock the door right now!"

"No!" Prussia's slightly muffled voice said from behind the door. Germany put his ear to the crack underneath and could hear the sounds of the printer whirring away, Prussia whistling merrily, and the crunch of potato chips.

"Prussia! What are you DOING in there?" Germany shouted.

"Eating potato chips!" Prussia yelled back with a mouthful of food.

"What are you doing with my printer? You're seriously not printing-"

"AWESOME STUFF, WEST! AND YOU CAN'T STOP ME NOW!"

Germany sighed and stood back up, pounding on the door once more for good measure. He then walked back to the end of the hallway, where he and Prussia hung the keys, thinking that he could just simply unlock the door, take the printer away, and delete all of Prussia's photos.

There was nothing there. He froze once more and stared at the little nail where the keys were supposed to be.

Prussia had actually thought this out. Germany cursed, walked over to the fuse box on the hallway wall, and turned off the power to Prussia's room, ensuring that he wouldn't be able to print at all.

 _3... 2... 1..._

"WEESTT!" Prussia yelled desperately as he burst out of his door, panting heavily. "P-POWER'S OUT!" he said as he pointed towards the now silent printer. Then he paused and looked around the brightly lit hallway, confused. "Wait... what-"

This was the opportunity that Germany was waiting for. He shoved Prussia off to the side (Which wasn't actually that hard, Prussia was dazed and still trying to figure out why only his room had lost power) and barged into his room, stepping on assorted candy wrappers and chip bags as he made his way across the room, and plopped down Prussia's squashy desk chair.

And promptly deleted the file in which Prussia had saved all his photos.

"WEST! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"

Prussia's voice cut into Germany's triumphant thoughts, as well as his very sticky hands, which were covered in Red Bull. "DID YOU JUST DELETE THE PHOTOS OF AWESOMENESS? HOW COULD YOU? I RAISED YOU TO BE BETTER THAN THIS, WEST!"

Germany, whose face was now covered with Red Bull residue from Prussia's hands (Prussia was swatting his hands onto Germany's face, trying to push him off the chair) tried to shove Prussia off to the side and get his hands AWAY from his own face. It didn't work, and Prussia finally gave up and plopped onto Germany's lap, because he lacked the effort to actually push Germany off the chair.

"PRUSSIA! GET OFF OF ME!" Germany choked out. Prussia ignored him and went on a frantic clicking spree in his files.

"Not here- No- Recycle bin- YES!" Prussia pumped his hands into the air, cheering as Gilbird flew around his head in circles. "You didn't delete everything from the recycle bin, Westy!" he said as he leaned backwards onto Germany.

"Get- off..." Germany said, his voice a bit muffled from being squished by Prussia's back.

"Don't worry, West, being squashed by awesome actually isn't that bad, you know," Prussia said, grabbing a half-eaten candy bar from the side of the desk. "But you know, I'd really hate to have to spoil the little pictures of awesome for you. So out you go!"

Once again, Germany ended up landing on his behind when he was literally thrown out of the room (Prussia was unexpectedly strong) and was quite sure that he had bruised his own tailbone. Wincing as he rubbed the area gently, he stood up slowly and cursed.

He was definitely going to leave Prussia at home when the meeting came around next month.

Germany pulled out his cellphone and began dialing China's number, (He was hosting the next world meeting) and hoped with all his heart that China would answer.

"Hello? This is Yao."

Breathing a sigh of relief, Germany said: "Hi Yao, it's Ludwig."

 _"Oh, Ludwig. Did you need something?"_

"I'm just calling to say that Gilbert won't be attending the next meeting for... uh..."

 _"He reprinted his photoshopped pictures, didn't he?"_

Germany winced. "I'm surprised you figured it out so quickly..."

 _"This is your brother we're talking about, aru. Oh well- Do what you need to do, then. I'll just call my boss and tell him that Gilbert won't be attending, alright?"_

"Thanks."

 _"Anytime, aru."_

When Germany shoved his cellphone back into his pocket, he gave a massive sigh of relief and nearly fist-pumped. The world would be saved. Maybe he wouldn't be blamed for starting WWIII after all.

* * *

Prussia knew that something was up when West left four hours earlier than when they were supposed to leave for their flight to Beijing.

It wasn't that hard to notice your younger brother creeping past your room not-so-stealthily at four in the morning, trying to be as quiet as possible but still somehow managing to trip over the hallway carpet and fall to the floor, cursing heavily. Also, he had stayed up the entire night on the internet, chowing down on chocolate bars and watching assorted cat videos. So his hearing sensitivity was actually quite high. In addition to that, he had six Red Bulls and was now hyperactive and resisting the urge to bounce around his room.

When he heard the front door unlock and West's car whirr to life, he knew that something was definitely up. So he ran to his window and squinted out into the darkness, only to find that West had decided to abandon him at their house while lugging his suitcase into the car and driving away afterwards.

Prussia felt completely and utterly betrayed. It was worthy of a cheesy romantic ballad full of tragedy and assorted other awesome things, like himself. But no, not now, for there were things to do, limos to steal from Austria, memes to view, plane tickets to purchase, chocolates to eat, things to pack. And printing out photoshopped pictures. That was definitely the top priority.

So, launching himself into his swivel chair (He had to beg Germany to get him one, but he refused, so he bribed Sweden instead) and after spinning around for a good thirty seconds, flung his laptop open and started typing furiously.

 _Plane- tickets- to- Beijing- from- Austria_

There was a flight for first-class leaving in... five hours. the meeting started at twelve. Plenty of time. Grinning, Prussia, slammed the "purchase ticket" button and typed in Germany's credit card number.

Check one thing off the list. Next was packing. He was never good at packing. So after about ten minutes of contemplation, he shrugged, grabbed the biggest suitcase he could find, and lugged every single of one his clothes and his entire chocolate stash into it, wasting a ton of his energy trying to zip the stupidly awesome thing shut, and forced his laptop into a carry-on bag with his precious pictures.

He even brought the I Heart New York shirt, though he had no idea why. Perhaps America had gotten to him.

Next: View all the memes.

Prussia whooped happily after he jammed all his clothes into his now bulging suitcase and leapt towards his swivel chair, though he missed and smacked his face into the bed frame instead.

To quote the moment: "Ow! Son of a [Insert curse word]! [Insert curse word] stupid, stupid bedframe! What the [Insert curse word]? What did I ever do to you, you stupid, [Insert curse word] [Insert curse word]!"

After about thirty seconds of feeling deep contempt towards the bedframe and a substantial amount of colorful cursing, Prussia leapt back into his chair, pulled up a search engine, and searched for all the memes possible.

It was a good way to spend forty-five minutes of his life. He was proud of himself. MEMES.

He was also sure that the wifi bill would be massive this month. If West asked, he could always blame it on Austria.

Speaking of Austria, he needed to steal a limousine from him. That should be easy enough, considering that Austria typically never woke up before nine in the morning and didn't wake up easily at all. He could have half of the population of his country stomp around in his house and he wouldn't have moved an inch.

It was something that all the Germanics had in common. None of them wanted to be disturbed before their classic waking time. Prussia's was twelve in the afternoon, unless he never went to sleep in the first place.

So he hopped into his jacket, bolted out to the door, lugged his suitcase onto the little sidecar next to his motorcycle, jumped onto his motorcycle, and raced away.

* * *

Austria knew that something was wrong the moment his eyes snapped open at 3:27 in the morning. Nations simply woke the exact moment another nation crossed over their own border and was a habit that some nations (Prussia) exploited often as a prank.

What did the idiot want now?

Austria groaned and tried to go back to sleep. He spent a minute with his head underneath his sheets, simply to avoid reality, but only ended up breathing excruciatingly stuffy air and decided that it would be best to try to lay on the bed and do his best to relax.

By relax, he meant turning his phone off and throwing it across the room when the tenth message from Prussia arrived, stating that he needed to borrow his limousine, even after Austria had replied with a very firm "NO."

In any case, Prussia would probably steal the limousine and his chauffeur anyway, but Austria didn't care. As long as he got his sleep and retained the ability to sue Prussia afterward, he would be satisfied. And so he rolled over on his bed and tried to fall asleep to the memorization of the great pieces of Mozart.

Under no circumstances would he ever let the antics of any Prussian idiot butt into his own sleeping time.

* * *

Prussia was frustrated. He was also insanely tired and quite fed up with the attitudes of prissy Austrian aristocrats.

It was only a limo! What was wrong with wanting to use a limo? Besides, it wasn't like he was going to drive the thing to the largest airport in Austria, of course not. Totally not. Nope, nope.

Of course, he could always just steal it instead-

Steal it. Of course.

Surely the Austrian police wouldn't notice a German car going speeding towards a large manor house, yes? Well, even if they did, Austria's own manor wasn't too far from where he was, he could reach there in thirty minutes, tops.

So Prussia stepped on the gas pedal, veered back onto the road, and tried to avoid whooping too loudly as he lowered the windows and blasted through the night. It wasn't every day that you were able to drive at 128 kilometers an hour on the relatively deserted highway at four in the morning.

"Hey, Wilhelm!" he yelled the moment Austria's chauffeur and limousine came into sight on Austria's driveway. "How's it going?"

The chauffeur nodded stiffly and stepped closer to his car as Prussia approached him. "Hello there, sir."

"So, bro," Prussia said coyly, swinging an arm around Wilhelm's shoulders. "Shall we go, then? Roddy's already told you that you were supposed to send me to the airport, yeah? Come on, we don't have any time to waste, man!"

Wilhelm stared at Prussia, confused. "I don't believe Mr. Edelstien has informed me about... this, sir."

"What? Really?" Prussia said in mock confusion. "Well, anyway, he should have, you know how lazy he is. Let's go!"

Wilhelm refused to budge.

"Honestly," Prussia sighed, reaching into his pocket and pulling out his wallet. "Here," he said, shoving a wad of cash into Wilhelm's hand. "Four-hundred euros. That should cover the cost. Now let's get going!

It took a while, but after Wilhelm stopped staring at the cash (Prussia refused to think of it as a bribe, it was just a payment for being awesome) and quite literally jumped into the driver's seat, they lugged his suitcase into the trunk and veered off into the night, Prussia making full use of the chocolate fountain, or dunking every piece of food within sight into it.

This was so worth it.

* * *

 **A/N: I am not pleased with this chapter. It took absolutely forever to write and I literally had to drag it out of my head, though the real fun is going to come in once I get the next chapter up and written. Oh, well.**

 **Thanks for reading! Critique is appreciated and reviews are loved!**

* * *

 **Guest responses:**

 **Guestofawesome: Thank you! I'll do my best and think up the recommendations, and I'm glad you're enjoying this fic. And sorry for the wait... I can't make any excuses for not uploading but let's just say that school is really kicking in.**

 **Abc: Don't worry, I've taken down the chapter for a reason, and you've never sounded forceful at all, I promise. Thank you very much for the recommendations, though!**

 **Crocus: Hello, 100th reviewer! I'm glad that this has made you laugh, and your wish is (sort of) granted! I believe that there will be another part to Prussia and his photoshopping, too.**


	12. Announcement

**A/N: Hooo, boy.**

 **Hey guys. How's it going? It's been a while, hasn't it?**

 **Well, first and foremost, let me give you some background to this story. I started this when I was a lot younger, a lot more naive, a lot more into Hetalia, and a lot more inexperienced when it came to writing. There were a lot of things that I didn't understand, like characterization, that I look back upon and cringe about.**

 **I've grown a lot now, in terms of age as well as experience. There're a lot of things that stayed the same and a lot of things that I still love, even after all this time.**

 **But... things change.**

 **Let me get to** **the gist of it: as of January 8, 2017, this story will be placed on an indefinite hiatus.**

 **I'm sorry, everyone. I really am. I love Hetalia and I love the fanbase, but the spark I had for this fic is just gone. It's no longer there, and I can't bring myself to write for** **this story anymore. Trust me, I did try. But nothing really came out right and it felt awkward and forced. If you guys wish, I can place the partially completed excerpt of the next chapter here, but there will be no more updates after that if it happens. I'm sorry that I made promises for future chapters that I couldn't keep. I hope you're not too disappointed.**

 **I'm happy that I was able to be part of the Hetalia community while I could and make you guys laugh. Your reviews still make me smile, even after I haven't updated in so long.**

 **So thank you, everyone, for sticking with me. Thank you for all your reviews, all your suggestions, all your encouragement. Thanks to the people who reviewed, all of you who favorited, everyone who followed, and those of you who are new. Thanks for making this journey such a wild ride, and I'm sorry that it has to come to an end.**

 **It was a pleasure to write for all of you.**

 **-Nyxzia**


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